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advice needed
#524248 07/18/2013 1:46 AM
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Second Wind
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My wifes dad died in a motorcycle wreck tonight.
We dont have the funds to travel right now.
She has to make the arrangements.
What to do
How to even get there to manage it all.
Where to start
We have never done this before.


I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. Edgar Allan Poe
Re: advice needed
StandingBull #524249 07/18/2013 2:11 AM
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I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I'm sure it's all a blur right now, but it will come together.

PM sent.

Did her Dad have someone nearby who can help take care of the arrangements in accordance with his wishes (funeral, burial, cremation, etc.)? Once the process is begun, it all sort of falls into place. If he was taken to a hospital, they have staff to walk you through it. They usually have a grief counselor and/or Clergy that will assist. Be wary of the commissioned funeral salesman that will try his best to upsell you and your family into debt as a way to show your love. Some of them can be despicable. FWIW, my family doesn't do funerals. Cremation and a "In Memory Of" donation to the charity that meant the most to the deceased.

Please don't let the added stress of this overwhelm your need to grieve.

Last edited by Hermit; 07/18/2013 2:37 AM.
Re: advice needed
Hermit #524250 07/18/2013 2:41 AM
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Condolence's. Too Sad.


05 Speedmaster,Reverse Cone Shortys,Thunderbike AIR Kit,K&N Air Filter,Snorkel Removed,Dynojet Stage 1 Kit(126 main),Needle-Clip 1 From Bottom,42 Pilot,NGK Iridium Plugs,Progressive Springs,Hagon 2810's,Barnett Green Springs,TTP Safe-Start,MOSFET R/R
Re: advice needed
Cloudy #524251 07/18/2013 3:16 AM
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Sorry for your loss Chad. Peace be with you and your family during this time.


06 America 904
Re: advice needed
Cloudy #524252 07/18/2013 3:19 AM
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Very Hard times for you all.Especially the wife so look after her. It will be a long road ahead but you will get there in the end. My thoughts are with you.

atb geoff


2003 black and silver T.B.A A1 removed,Specialty Spares long slashed Pipes .
Re: advice needed
StandingBull #524253 07/18/2013 4:32 AM
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Sorry for your loss, Thoughts and prayers to you, your wife and friends and family of your father-inlaw.


'04' Black America
Re: advice needed
StandingBull #524254 07/18/2013 4:47 AM
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Sorry for your loss. As others have said it will all come together and remember the funeral folks are salesmen. My wife and I were married for 38 yrs and I came home one day in May of this year and found her dead from a heart attack. Her wish was to be cremated and I honored that. The salesman at the funeral home wanted to have her in a high price fancy rental coffin for the viewing. Friends and family came to say good-by to her and really didn't give a damn about the coffin. Do what you have to do but don't give in to those money hungry businessmen.


'06 America, Raask foot controls, the bike use to be Graphite and Silver, now its Red and Black.
Re: advice needed
Bruce #524255 07/18/2013 5:30 AM
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Sorry to hear of your loss. Kindest regards.


Kevin - Luceo Non Uro
Re: advice needed
StandingBull #524256 07/18/2013 6:21 AM
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Chad, I'm sorry to hear about your father n law. Condolences to you and the family.


It's not speeding till you get pulled over.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bqa1s4jhkQ8
Re: advice needed
mikemm03 #524257 07/18/2013 6:51 AM
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Man, it's tough duty when your wife's father passes. The hospitals grief counselor will be a great help, if he was a church going man his pastor will be a great help too. Most airlines will extend a pretty deep discount for bereavement travel; I've had to use that more than once. I'm in the cremation camp, too, because that allows time to gather family and friends for a memorial and you don't have to rush.

You need to be with her when she starts going through his personal things, she'll need the support as it alternates between poignant and traumatic. And, expect it to be messy, even the best laid plans have unseen flaws. Hang in there man, you're going to be her strength. We'll be here for you.


A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
Re: advice needed
oldroadie #524258 07/18/2013 7:19 AM
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Really sorry for your loss Chad. I just went thru this about 7 weeks ago with my wife's mother. She had been battleing MS for over 30 years. Like Ed said you just gotta be there for her, and were here for you.

PM SENT

Re: advice needed
Leithal #524259 07/18/2013 8:24 AM
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First, sorry for your loss, I dread the day I lose my mom.

Only loss in that respect I have had have been aunts and uncles and my grand parents. I was too young to be involved for my grand parents and the others too far away so I would help if I could but really have no experience to offer you, sorry, wish I could.


I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
Re: advice needed
The_Dog33 #524260 07/18/2013 8:50 AM
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Second Wind
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Thank you all. It means alot to me to have the support of my brothers and sister all over the country and across the pond. The spirit and strength sent out is much needed and appreciated.


I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. Edgar Allan Poe
Re: advice needed
StandingBull #524261 07/18/2013 10:38 AM
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Sorry, for your loss, Chad. We went through this with Ruthie's not too long ago. All our parents are gone now.

Re: advice needed
Smokey3214 #524262 07/18/2013 3:16 PM
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Saddened to hear of your loss, i had to go to England to take care of my Dads funeral eleven years ago and got a bereavement price for the flight.

Re: advice needed
StandingBull #524263 07/18/2013 4:40 PM
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It's tough when anyone goes. Hardest when it's our children, hard when it's our parents, especially when it's totally unexpected, and last words weren't shared.

Hoping your family finds comfort within.


condolences to all.


And you may see me tonight With an illegal smile J. Prine
Re: advice needed
erle #524264 07/18/2013 5:07 PM
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Chad, everything the rest have said. I hate to hear it. Sending some strength to you my brother, + some for the wife. I know she needs it. My wife will be a total wreck when her dad goes. (she has raised him snice she was 10! LOLOL) -a little humor never hurts either.


Mal: "Y'all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun?{ref, Jayne} Man's lookin' to kill some folk. So really, it's his will y'all should worry about thwarting."
Re: advice needed
erle #524265 07/18/2013 5:09 PM
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Sorry to hear this Chad

Please accept my condolences


Too old to die young, too ugly to leave a good looking corpse
Re: advice needed
StandingBull #524266 07/18/2013 5:55 PM
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Sorry for your loss. I hope and pray you will be able to manage the logistics and support your wife needs.

PM sent.


Cheers, Richard
~~~~~~~~~~~~
09 America, Staintune Pipes, K&N, Breathe, Hagon Nitros, AI & O2 removed, tune 20184 (modified), MTX-L a/f gauge
Re: advice needed
StandingBull #524267 07/18/2013 6:20 PM
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I've just now opened this thread to discover it wasn't something about our motorcycles.

So very sorry for your, your wife's and your entire family's loss here, Chad.


Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
Re: advice needed
StandingBull #524268 07/18/2013 7:44 PM
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Sorry for your loss mate.


Dinosaur.

"Oh Man I only ride 'em.I don't know what makes 'em work". Donald "Oddball" Sutherland

"Don't let the bastards get you down". Kris Kristofferson

"I am only paranoid because everyone is against me". Larry [Frank Burns] Linville
Re: advice needed
findlay13 #524269 07/18/2013 8:11 PM
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My condolences.

Re: advice needed
KCMark #524270 07/18/2013 8:43 PM
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My condolences. Hope he had a good life, so you can celebrate that.


Fidelis et Fortis
Re: advice needed
arstaren #524271 07/18/2013 8:49 PM
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Where did the accident happen ie where is he located and is there family there?

Sorry to hear about the loss.


I try to aggravate one person a day. Today may be your day.
Re: advice needed
satxron #524272 07/19/2013 1:03 AM
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Chad, so sorry to hear of this.
Grace and peace to you and your wife's family.


Contra todo mal, mezcal; contra todo bien, también
Re: advice needed
bigbill #524273 07/21/2013 12:30 AM
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Second Wind
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Thank you gentlemen, brothers. Your kindness your friendship has been a source of strength and energy in a trying time.

John crashed a few miles from home. He had gone with a friend for a few hours ride. The fellow he was with was very forth comming and honest about the circumstances of the accident. He is racked with guilt even though he did not do any thing. I believe that John took his eyes off the road for a moment and veered too close to the shoulder where the edge of the pavement pulled his bike hard and sent him into the median.
He hit a truck parked on the edge of the highway with a for sale sign on it. He never even had a chance to touch his brakes.
The lesson here is do not become so comfortable with the roads around your home that you fail to pay the proper attention to them. An uneven shoulder can take you out in a moment.


I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. Edgar Allan Poe
Re: advice needed
StandingBull #524274 07/22/2013 8:39 AM
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That's just not right. So sorry to hear of your wife's loss and ultimately yours. Our condolences to you and your family.


12 Rocket Roadster
03 Bonneville America
69 BSA Firebird Scrambler
73 Yamaha TX 750
Re: advice needed
Gregger #524275 07/23/2013 5:12 PM
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My Codolences to you and you family Chad.


~Brent ----- "Nothing you can be is more terrible than what I am." ~ 2007 Black Speedmaster!!
Re: advice needed
oldroadie #524276 07/25/2013 8:08 PM
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Chad, my heartfelt condolences to you and the Misses & family on your loss.


Karl
Odessa, MO
'07 America, Cinnamon Girl (aka: Black Beauty or Ol' Penny) - Sit Down, Shut Up & Hang On
Re: advice needed
Buffal0 #524277 07/25/2013 9:18 PM
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Second Wind
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Thank you all . It has be tough . You are all good people thank you for you thoughts and prayer.


I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago. Edgar Allan Poe

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