 The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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OP
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As I may have posted in the past, I have a 27 year old daughter who suffers with a debilitating case of Schizophrenia. She needs nearly constant supervision, and has trouble taking care of herself. She is 8 months pregnant, and the father of the baby is also very ill. She has been hospitalized for a number of months so that she and the baby will remain safe.
My daughter's biological mother left us years ago, and has resurfaced for a matter of days here & there. She is at best, unstable and after years of resentment, I've somewhat come to terms that she probably can't help what she did to the kids by choosing to be out of their lives for so long. My 2nd wife of 20 years, Carla, raised my children as her own.
Today my wife & I came to terms with the fact that we the grandparents are going to raise my daughter's son. My daughter has named him Gus, which I think is a great name for a boy. Somewhere around March 17th we are going to welcome a new baby into the house.
If any have advice on grandparents raising children, I'm all ears.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,681 Likes: 1 |
I think Gus is a great name also. I don't have any advice but what you and your wife are going to do is very noble and I salute you. I just hope your daughter becomes well enough to help you. 
"Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary" Author unknown
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
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well bucky this decision does not surprise me at all.... you and your wife are good people and we see that family is very important to you and your wife..and as far as advice on grandparents raising children... you know what to do it's like riding that triumph thier will be sunny days,rainny days...days that it will ****** you off.. and day's that you will love it like you do every day no matter what .. let us all know when Gus get to this world ..and I'll have a PBR,a shot of whisky ..and smoke a fat cigar.. and wish you and you wife..his mother and Gus... a good life.. Ed 
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Dec 2006
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New Tires
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New Tires
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You are a rock, enjoy Gus, he will keep you young.
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H. L. Mencken
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Aug 2009
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Loquacious
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I share Pauls sentiment and have the upmost respect for what you and your wife are doing I don't have any advice either, just an opion that I have a feeling you will share, that is let little Gus know you are his grandparents, not his parents Oh, and you've raised kids before, so you'll know what you are doing All the best
Too old to die young, too ugly to leave a good looking corpse
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Adjunct
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I salute you my friend , that is a noble thing you and your wife are doing one thing I can say is that young man will make you feel young again 
I cried because I could wheelie then I met someone without a motorcycle
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Mar 2009
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Stickman Yogi
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Stickman Yogi
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964 |
Nice one Martin... you and your wife are good people. It's selfless acts like that that keep the world going round!! Nothing but respect!
Live to love, love to live.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Feb 2007
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Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
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That's cool Bucky, Wendy and I pretty much raise our grand kids too and for the most part I love it. Hope yopu have as much fun with it as I am!
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,150
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Dec 2006
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You and your wife are an inspiration to us all. No it won't be easy but youve come this far, been able to reconcile and by the sound of it forgiven your ex wife's problems and are now moving onto the next chapter. If that isn't a recipe for having the ability for raising a grandchild ie in a loving and stable environment, I'll eat my hat (helmets are too hard lol). After all, you get that part right and the rest will look after itself.
I take my hat off to you both. Let us know when young Gus arrives and I'll have a beer to celebrate.
Staffo
Last edited by Staffo; 02/18/2010 12:33 AM.
Staintune Pipes, K&N Pods, 45 pilots, TBS needles and 145 mains.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
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Great courage and unconditional love are magnificent when seen together in one act of selfless dedication.
Bucky, I am impressed and humbled by this story. You are your other half are an example to all.
I try to aggravate one person a day. Today may be your day.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Adjunct
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Adjunct
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There's a special place in heaven for you and your wife! I enjoy all my time with my granddaughter, which is limited as they live in Alaska. But grandkids are truly a blessing. You'll find you have more time, patience and money than with your kids and you'll have a fantastic time.
God Bless you and your family. Thank you.
Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: May 2006
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Loquacious
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OP
Loquacious
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Thanks for the support. I appreciate it. Since learning Sarah was pregnant, I've been presented with a number of stories and reasons why we should do this. Among them is the fact that when boys go into foster care, they often end up as farm slaves. And that dismal outcome is if they're lucky. Not a great way to meet the world, by any means. I'm 52, and my wife is 50. Perhaps if we were younger, we would have made this decision earlier. No matter. Forward we go, and my wife is again a saint for she will be doing most of the hard work while I go off to my job. Shortly after we made the final decision to take Gus in, another story of being alone in the world was presented: While visiting my neighbor at work, it turns out he feeds the deer. 4 deer come every day at feeding time. One is apparently an orphan, and the other three chase her away while they eat. They let her run with them at a distance, but when it comes down to chow, she is an outsider to them. It may sound corny, but it is not by accident or coincidence that I kept hearing these stories and situations of being an orphan. There is a power greater than ourselves at work here. Having Gus with us was meant to be. WTB, side car with baby seat.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Check Pants
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Check Pants
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A good friend of mine did a similar thing when their daughter was unable to raise her child properly. This was the same Harley guy who advised me to peek in the door of the MiZZoula Triumnph dealer in 2003 when the America hit the scene. My hat was off to him then and you & your wife now  jh
"It's not what I say that's important, it's what you hear" Red Auerbach
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
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Sounds like little Gus will be just fine.
There will be plenty of good times ahead, meyby a few hard.
But when you look back in years to come you will know you it was the thing to do and wouldnt change a thing.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Bucky, you and your wife are amazing people. Gus is lucky to have family like you.
2013 Speedmaster Matte Black
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Feb 2006
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Loquacious
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Loquacious
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Bucky is about the most honorable man
you could hope to meet.
Carla is darling.
I'm proud to be friends with them.
Uncle Charlie
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Bucky, what a story . . . and what role models you and your wife are for the rest of us. Way to go.
And, Gus, bygolly, will be brought up as a Triumph fan, and that's as it should be.
He's a very lucky boy.
'08 America, AI removed, National Cycle windscreen, bags, tach, dresser bars
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Loquacious
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OP
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Aside from a little bit of fear of the unknown, I've been walking on a cloud all day long,
(even while pushing a jackhammer to break up a concrete floor for 9 hours.)
We'll need 3 pair of Triumph logo pajamas - you know - the kind with the feet in them.
One infant sized, one lady's medium & 1 XXL
Can't wait to meet my future little buddy.
Grampa Bear. Has a nice ring to it.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964
Stickman Yogi
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Stickman Yogi
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964 |
Quote:
Thanks for the support. I appreciate it.
Since learning Sarah was pregnant, I've been presented with a number of stories and reasons why we should do this. Among them is the fact that when boys go into foster care, they often end up as farm slaves. And that dismal outcome is if they're lucky. Not a great way to meet the world, by any means.
I'm 52, and my wife is 50. Perhaps if we were younger, we would have made this decision earlier. No matter. Forward we go, and my wife is again a saint for she will be doing most of the hard work while I go off to my job.
Shortly after we made the final decision to take Gus in, another story of being alone in the world was presented: While visiting my neighbor at work, it turns out he feeds the deer. 4 deer come every day at feeding time. One is apparently an orphan, and the other three chase her away while they eat. They let her run with them at a distance, but when it comes down to chow, she is an outsider to them.
It may sound corny, but it is not by accident or coincidence that I kept hearing these stories and situations of being an orphan. There is a power greater than ourselves at work here.
Having Gus with us was meant to be.
WTB, side car with baby seat.
Just love the way your head works!! Had to say it! Best to you and yours, my man!!!
Live to love, love to live.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Sep 2006
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Loquacious
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Loquacious
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Quote:
Bucky is about the most honorable man
you could hope to meet.
Carla is darling.
I'm proud to be friends with them.
Uncle Charlie
mertditto
allhailthefrenchpress
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Oct 2007
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Sounds like Gus will be the lucky one.
Thom
I might be wrong, I sometimes am.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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That is actually great news Bucky. I have two kids of my own and find that even raising your own biological kids can be challenging enough. To take on the additional responsibility of raising a grandchild is very honorable of you. I think as someone else alluded to, unconditional love is what all children need. Some of us may have got shortchanged on that in our own childhoods for various reasons and therefore find it hard to be loving parents ourselves (myself included) but I have come to realize that that is what all kids and grandkids need.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Aug 2009
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
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Are we going to be the God Parents?
'04' Black America
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Adjunct
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Adjunct
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Good on you mate
You and the misses are doing a great thing
What goes round comes round
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Jul 2007
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Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
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Admirable. Truly admirable. The best to you!
Fidelis et Fortis
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Mar 2005
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
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Quote:
Admirable. Truly admirable. The best to you!
+1, Proud to know you Martin!
Strangler
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Well done, Bucky! People like you make the world a better place. For Gus, its the love and care he will have with you and Carla. For the rest of us, its the inspiration you give us to be better people as well. God speed to you as you set forth in this new chapter in your life
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Joined: Mar 2009
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Stickman Yogi
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Stickman Yogi
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Posts: 12,964 |
Don't forget to teach him to play a Trumpet!!
Live to love, love to live.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Adjunct
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Adjunct
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Just goes to show "you never know." Good on ya, my friend.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Loquacious
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Thanks again to all for the kind words of support. I appreciate it. It makes us stronger for the days ahead. Little folk have enough energy to power a small city. Might even drop a pound or two of my own baby fat.  The kudos goes to Saint Carla, my wife, who is the key player. Gus is not her blood, and I am out the door 45 or 50 hours per week. The woman has a very large heart of gold to be sure.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Loquacious
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sorry to hear about your daughter Martin and lots of Luck to you and your bride with "GUS". Decisions are difficult and are sometimes made for us before we even make them.Hope it all goes well for you guys as Im sure it will. Whats up with the childs father? I see you say hes ill as well. Will he be involved in the childs life or just "dont go there"
Erwin
05 America
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Congrats young man, a slug of single malt raised high for ya!
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Through no fault of his own, Gus's biological father is not likely to be able to do too much in the way of support or help. Due to the severity of his illness, I don't think its currently within him to hold down a job for too long or the like. He is reported to be an orphan himself, so there's no current other known grandparents either. I have no hard feelings for the kid or the situation. I was 20 once too. I believe the baby will likely have an attorney appointed by the state, so when that happens, I will seek advice on whether to establish paternity or what have you, in case the father wins Powerball or something odd like that. We visited my daughter Saturday and saw the current ultrasound photos - yes he is a boy, so I reckon we can go ahead and buy clothes for him.
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Loquacious
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Good Luck to all of you!! 
Erwin
05 America
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Re: The Book of Life: Another chapter begins
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Greenhorn
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Greenhorn
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Bucky
I'm a grandfather 6 times over and I would take any of them in a heart beat, not because of duty but through love, just like you and your good lady, its a no brainer really. I and I'm sure everone else would like to thankyou for sharing this with all of us.
When you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs your the one with the big Axe!
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