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A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. To help him decide, he gave each woman $5,000 and watched to see what they would do with the money.

The first gets a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the profits in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

He thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

Well, which one had the biggest boobs? Don't leave us hanging!
I gots ta know!

The first one.

You see how difficult it is to make a man happy.
It's not that hard to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

Quote:

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IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes and doesn't tell you about

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Chad, you missed a bit, so I put it in for you.
Hope you don't mind

As long as I don't set things on fire by accident Ruth doesn't require much outta me.

I'm always telling my wife, if men could teach sheepdogs to cook, we wouldn't need a wife. And she always hits me!

You can't even begin to fathom how much 'up' I married. She's a babe, could be a blue jean model, makes way more money than I do, much smarter than me, and comes from an affluent family.

I'm an idiot. Oh, I'm a really good dad, but don't give me your inheritance to invest. I'm good at my job and I know motorcycles, football, and bourbon.

Best of all, every day, she lets me come home.

I can cook......better than any woman I know.

i dont know about everyone here but i rekon when real men are born we are given a simple 5 page hand book on being male and when women are born their hand book is about as thick a the concise english dictionary. I reckon the day we figure them out is the day we die. and here in australia we dont want to teach dogs to cook that'd be another headache cause it'd howl when u leave it home while drinking. nah i reckon if gum trees had a v****a that would just about do it

Chet and I say this with all due respect and admiration does have a smoking hot wife (he posted pictures to prove it).

Nah not a gum tree...... too sappy.

Is that a black wattle?