 Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Loquacious
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OP
Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,610 |
Now I don't usually get too deep on here but I need some unbiased feedback... Is it wrong that my unemployed, raging alcoholic brother-in-law and his equally insignificant other blessed the world with their offspring today and I don't care and won't acknowledge the event? We had a pretty bad blowout this weekend that had been building for years. My wife thinks I should go visit them... 
Stewart
.......
"It's outside your field of expertise."
"Poppycock normally is."
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 200
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 200 |
Fukem 
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964
Stickman Yogi
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Stickman Yogi
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964 |
Quote:
Fukem
+1 Conformity sucks!
Live to love, love to live.
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Huh. Canadians are usually so polite...  
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Well, to be honest here, the ONLY reason that I can think of to stay in touch with 'em is so that maybe Uncle Stew might be able help counteract the little one's inclinations when he reaches, say, age 13, and just about the time he'll get the mistaken belief that "real men drink to excess" because that's what daddy has shown him through his STUPID FRIGGIN' ACTIONS ALL OF HIS LIFE!!!!!
Yep Stew, MAYBE you can keep the little tyke from becomin' another friggin' drunk like his ol' man is...maybe.
(...yep, that's MY theory about how all that happens...sure there's always the "alcoholic gene", BUT I think it ALSO has as much to do with what the kids SEE their parents doing while they're growin' up in the house with 'em!...yep, "Nature/Nurture" is about a 50/50 proposition in MY book, alright!!!)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964
Stickman Yogi
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Stickman Yogi
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964 |
I'm polite... just a polite nonconformist! 
Live to love, love to live.
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,419
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,419 |
I don't know anyone involved so I can't possibly offer moral advice BUT I think that maybe the fact that you are asking the question shows you that you really know the answer - hard though that may be.
Cheers, Richard
~~~~~~~~~~~~
09 America, Staintune Pipes, K&N, Breathe, Hagon Nitros, AI & O2 removed, tune 20184 (modified), MTX-L a/f gauge
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,474 Likes: 5
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,474 Likes: 5 |
Quote:
I don't know anyone involved so I can't possibly offer moral advice BUT I think that maybe the fact that you are asking the question shows you that you really know the answer - hard though that may be.
+1 Well said, Richard
'04' Black America
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 11,124 Likes: 13
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 11,124 Likes: 13 |
FWIW you have the remarkable opportunity to touch the spirit of your niece/nephew
give all your love, to the newborn. Be polite to the asshats. The majority of women have a remarkable intuition: Trust your wife's.
Blowing gravel off rural roads
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
You are NOT wrong. Piss on em. I don't know anything about you being able to influence his child to do right, I do know you don't want his children to abuse yours. You don't want your kids to see this mess anymore than they have too. You also don't want yours to think you are tolerant of such.
Last edited by locopony; 07/27/2011 7:31 AM.
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 499 Likes: 5
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 499 Likes: 5 |
...you're gonna feel a little pressure....
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,681 Likes: 1
Bar Shake
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Bar Shake
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 6,681 Likes: 1 |
So the insignificant other you mentioned is your sister? I'm not that crazy about my sister and brother and law either but I have always let them visit because my son and her 3 kids get along somewhat. I know you want to blow them off, but IMO I would listen to your wife on this one. You don't have to stay forever. Just say hi look at the baby and split. Make sure you take your wife to run interference, it was her idea!
"Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary" Author unknown
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,165 Likes: 54
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,165 Likes: 54 |
Quote:
FWIW you have the remarkable opportunity to touch the spirit of your niece/nephew
give all your love, to the newborn. Be polite to the asshats. The majority of women have a remarkable intuition: Trust your wife's.
+1 and well said.
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,610
Loquacious
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OP
Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,610 |
It's my wife's brother and wife, my wife is in Chicago visiting family with my boys - so she can't run interference, and she wasn't here for the meltdowns that broke the camel's back. My prediction for their future - moving out of state very soon so her parents can help support all of them and then a divorce. So any influence that I could have, good or bad, will be minimal at best. My contribution, as well as all of yours, is joyfully paying our taxes so this blessed event could happen.
I really have given up caring or even pretending to, and was really wondering if my compass is that broken for feeling this way? And like Loco says, I will not have this crap around my boys.
thanks for all your input.
Stewart
.......
"It's outside your field of expertise."
"Poppycock normally is."
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,284
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,284 |
Quote:
Quote:
FWIW you have the remarkable opportunity to touch the spirit of your niece/nephew
give all your love, to the newborn. Be polite to the asshats. The majority of women have a remarkable intuition: Trust your wife's.
+1 and well said.
+2 
Strangler
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,546
Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,546 |
Break away from them totally
if life gives you lemons keep them because hey,free lemons.
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 3,971
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 3,971 |
Quote:
FWIW you have the remarkable opportunity to touch the spirit of your niece/nephew
give all your love, to the newborn. Be polite to the asshats. The majority of women have a remarkable intuition: Trust your wife's.
Untreated alcoholism and a deeply sh--ty disposition almost always go hand in hand. There is a laundry list of other errant behaviors as well - self pity, egocentricity, & on & on. Not making excuses for the guy, just saying. The typical alocoholic without treatment generally has the personality of a bench grinder.
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
So Stew, you say they'll not be living anywhere near you, eh?!
Then here's MY added prediction to yours here:
The poor little tyke is doomed to a fate to be as big a friggin' loser as his dad.
(...WHY oh WHY do all the losers out there think that havin' a baby is a "good idea", huh?!)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
Stand you ground on it. If your wife wants to visit them you can't and shouldn't try stopping her, but you don't have to deal with it. I don't talk to any of my wife's family. What little my kids are subjected to them I use as a bad example. My kids have never met most of my family either for the same reason.
Also I reject the notion that this louts kids will turn out just as bad as him. My own dad is a drunkin lout just the same, and well I may be a jerk but I am no drunk, nor burden on society.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1
Second Wind
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Second Wind
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 8,393 Likes: 1 |
The problem Dwight, is they don't think. They just do stuff regardless of the consequences. Its not all bad though after all I was born to the same type of situation. How much would ya miss me if I never existed.
I have no faith in human perfectability. I think that human exertion will have no appreciable effect upon humanity. Man is now only more active - not more happy - nor more wise, than he was 6000 years ago.
Edgar Allan Poe
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 379
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 379 |
roundy77 et al, my bro-in-law is equally a POS, and although i firmly agree with our impolite neighbors to the north, i know that me and my wife are the one stable anchor in this world for their three kids (they are at my house at least every other weekend). if not for us they would not have a sense of what a real family is, what it is to care for someone unconditionally, not to mention warm clothes in the winter, or new bunk beds etc. i am not saying i am mother-freakin-Teresa; but i love those poor kids as i would my own, there is nothing more rewarding, heartwarming, terrible and heartbreaking than hearing a 2 year old say, 'i want to live at unca bill's he is funny'. so while it is incredibly tempting to say $#@!'em, unfortunately it is truly the kids that suffer. now do you have to go over and be nice, oh hell no. my bro-in-law knows full well the only reason he is walking the earth is that it is illegal for me to remove him, and that if there is ever a mark on his kids (in the past he has been physical with my sis-in-law who in typical low self esteem fashion did nothing about it) that i will have his kids removed from his presence at the very least. my two cents, take them for what they are worth; but i'd bet you do more good close than far away.
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 5,720
Check Pants
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Check Pants
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 5,720 |
Acquiring a licence to breed should be more stringent than a permit to carry a concealed weapon and while I'm fantasizing, enact this worldwide.
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146 |
I also have a couple of POS brother-in-laws. My own kids have done well so far. My father-in-law always felt that my wife and I were somehow obligated to steal his other grandchildren away from their parents and raise them or, at the very least, uproot our lives and move to their locale so that we could have a greater influence on their lives because their own parents were worthless. Perhaps if he had been around during their childhood...
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
The problem Dwight, is they don't think. They just do stuff regardless of the consequences. Its not all bad though after all I was born to the same type of situation. How much would ya miss me if I never existed.
Yeah, I suppose so, Chad.
(...yep, if you would've never existed, then most likely this site wouldn't be the Bedford Falls that it is, but would've ended up to be more like Pottersville, huh?!) 
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,839 Likes: 3
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,839 Likes: 3 |
ENJOY!!!!! NEWT!!!!!
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3
Old Hand
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Old Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3 |
What is wrong is that they were allowed to spawn.
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
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 Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,240
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,240 |
The abuse of the legal drug alcohol. That's really what this thread boils down to. Stew, I think I'd just have to stay home. 
Keith
Houston
Ridin'Texas
'04 Speedmaster
AI removed, Pingle, UNI Filter, 1 shim, straight-through slash-cut TORs, Stage 1 DynaJet, 140 mains, 3 turns, 16/42 final drive, 115K
2020 T120 Black
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146 |
Quote:
I also have a couple of POS brother-in-laws. My own kids have done well so far. My father-in-law always felt that my wife and I were somehow obligated to steal his other grandchildren away from their parents and raise them or, at the very least, uproot our lives and move to their locale so that we could have a greater influence on their lives because their own parents were worthless. Perhaps if he had been around during their childhood...
Oh, I have to add this. One of my POS brother-in-laws fortunately had sperm as incompetent as himself. However, his worthless POS wife has kids and grandkids from her previous relationships (you'll note I did not say 'marriage'). They refer to my POS brother-in-law as...wait for it...'Grandpa Harley'.
How absolutely perfect is that?
Last edited by Smokey3214; 07/28/2011 10:55 AM.
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,610
Loquacious
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OP
Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,610 |
Well, you all have shared some interesting stories and perspectives. Thanks.
It looks like the first part of my prediction is already coming true - I heard second hand, they're moving back to OK this Saturday. They couldn't even wait until my mom-in-law gets here, from Chicago, next Tuesday to see her newest grandchild.....
Stewart
.......
"It's outside your field of expertise."
"Poppycock normally is."
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964
Stickman Yogi
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Stickman Yogi
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964 |
Quote:
The abuse of the legal drug alcohol. That's really what this thread boils down to.
There's a lot to be said there, that's for sure!
Live to love, love to live.
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,146 |
You know, I don't think either of my POS B-I-Ls drink, at least not that much. Now, one of them ran the gamut from huffing paint fumes to whatever and he's only got enough brain cells left to talk about his Harley and beg for money. The other thought himself an outlaw and robbed the neighbors while my father-in-law paid them off to keep his ass out of prison. At around 45 he started working part time so my wife is delighted he has "turned his life around". In the next year, or so, he's set to inherit something in the low seven figures. Ain't life grand?
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Re: Is it wrong?
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Wow, no siblings and never been married. I'm feeling luckier every day...
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