Bonneville America Forums Forums Technical Forums Performance Mods Air Box Mod.... Read if you want a laugh

I got laid off Friday (that's not the funny part), so yesterday I decided I would try out the drill-holes-in-the-filter/airbox mod to get my mind in a different space.

Drilling through the bottom of the filter was a lot tougher than I thought, but finally got it and the airbox drilling was a breeze. Got the mesh to keep chunks out, pulled all 3 snorkels and everything looked good.

Put my pilots to 2.5 to start and revved her up. Total cr*p! I could get it to idle for a while but then it would cut out on me. I tried every configuration of pilot adjustment (higher and it would barely cough) and snorkels in/out and couldn't get the d*mn thing to start up for the life of me.

I was TOTALLY frustrated and pretty p*ssed at myself for screwing it up because I was thinking I'd have to get the dealer to bring a trailer and take it into the shop. So after about 45 minutes of futility I put it back to when I tried to fire her up (figured I'd give the guys in the shop the same starting point) and just happened to glance down at my petcock and guess what??? That's right, I HAD THE GAS SWITCHED OFF!!!

Oh my God, I wanted to kick my own *ss so bad... what a dipstick. I'm totally knew at this wrenching game, but I've got to tell you I felt like the dumbest guy on the planet.

Needless to say, once I switched on the old petrol it fired up like a dream and was strong, with no decell popping - SWEET.

Anyhow, thanks for the mod advice once again and hopefully I'll keep learning enough to have a clue once in a while.

I'm just glad you figured it out before taking it to the shop. Man would that have been embarassing! Not to worry though, everbody here (wether they admit it or not) has done something as equally as funny!

Whoa, no sh*t nuthin' - I didn't really think about that because I was so relieved that I didn't screw things up but I wouldn't have been able to show my face at the dealer for a long time if it had gone that route... WHEW!

Last week I went to synch my carbs and I couldn't figure out why my bike was running so bad until I looked down and saw that I had unplug the spark plug lead from the left jug.
If your bike isn't running right first two things to check; gas and spark.

Keith

you're forgiven... If you just got laid off your mind wasn't in the game....
Just be glad you didn't get hurt or fry the engine somehow!

ever do an old car tuneup and zip it all back together-- crank crank crank, then find no rotor?

change the oil and forget to put a new filter on?

jack a car up and climb under it and find the jackstand sunk into the ground, pinning you (18 years old and a 65 GTO)?

cat

You should change your handle to Spazomatic.
At least ya got her going. Now get out there and beat on her some.

I try to run in the "off" position once a month or so, under the auspices of fuel conservation. I once kicked the other Bonneville for 45 minutes, no spark, no life, no signs of anything. And it was running perfectly. Gas on, amals tickled, choke set, all systems go.

Except the kill switch was in the kill position. Did I just say that out loud?? Good luck job hunting, something always turns up.

Thanks for the encouragement guys, you're kind to a dumb newbie.

Dinqua... I Like It! But if I change my username I'll go back to "Stranger" again, aargh!

Changed the rear shocks on my mother's 73 Chevy Impala. I only had 1 extension with me and had trouble reaching the top bolts. So, I jacked the car up till the wheels were off the ground and it was more "comfy" for me to lay under there and reach those bolts. Man, were they tight coming out!
I finally realized why when the axle dropped and hit me in the face.......

Yesterday I drained my carb bowls into a little cup. I started thinking, "that's odd, gas is coming out but the little cup isn't filling up." Then I realize there is a hole in the bottom of the little cup I was using (by design), and the gas was running all over my motor.

Quote:

---

I finally realized why when the axle dropped and hit me in the face.......

---

biting my tongue, trying hard to not make a smart alec comment...

I understand completely. I was out for a ride checking my plugs after rejetting the carbs. Pulled in and got the plug puller out. The plug looked good and I adjusted my air out about a 1/4 turn. I put the tools back in the pouch and fired her up. It was strange because it was like it was hitting on one cyl.It took about 15 minutes before it dawned on me than the plug wire wasn't put back on!Some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you.Ride safe,bros.

I was replacing the motor in my central A/C unit last week. I pulled the squirrel cage out and loosened the shaft lock bolt. Tried pushing the shaft, pulling the 15 pound motor, then tapping the shaft. Making no progress, I decided to put the blower up on saw horses so I could beat on the shaft. When I got the shaft in a vertical position, I saw it slip and disappear, immediately feeling the motor slam my big toe. That hurt for a few days, but it was my braking foot so I could still shift. I learned to be tough at a real young age.
Ride Safe,
Dennis

At least you didn't roll up to the pumps and mistake diesel for gas...we have at least one knuckle-head a week put diesel in a gas engine on our installation...and their job is WORKING the pumps. America's best and brightest...

Well that was better than gas in a diesel. Try putting 200 gallons of gas in diesel. It will run like a scalded dog for a little while.

Pat,
Nothing you could say could traumatize me anymore than a Chevy rear axle on the cheekbone.... It was all part of being young, knowing everything, and being in a hurry.

Since we're "sharing" here, my favorite "DOH" moment was years ago when I owned a 64 Corvair. I had 2 extra rims for snow tires.... I took the rims with summer tires and dropped them off to get brand new tires installed. Next day I went and picked them up and hurried home to swap them out. I had a hot date that night and I was a little late. So I jacked the car up, pulled the snow tires off and put the new summer tires on, I was living large.. new tires! yahoo! During the process I got a phone call from the girlfriend to find out why I was running late.
I took the car off the jack, cleaned up and left for her house.
About 2 miles down the road I look out my window and see a wheel and tire rolling past me, I laughed and thought some fool lost a wheel!.... Then I felt the car begin to wobble a bit... and I found out who the fool was....

OK Pat, fire away!

Oh Man this has got to be the best thread we've had in awhile. I laughed my *ss off the whole thread. Not just because they were funny but because I've either done some of those things or I can relate to them fully.

Grump - I did the EXACT same thing... I was lowering the vehicle with the jack, the phone rang, I talked for 5 minutes, and forgot to tighten the lug nuts. The bad part was that it was on a Jeep Wrangler with 4.5" of lift and 33" mud tires at 70 mph! That was scary.

The tire stopped rolling when it hit a sign almost 1/2 mile down the highway. When it happened, I had my little digi cam so I snapped a pic. For your enjoyment... I have proof:

When I was in highschool, WAAAAAAAY back in the mid 90's, my buddy was driving and (OLD) Subaru Bratt. He's driving down the mountain to early morning baseball practice and the thing starts shuddering. He figured it was another tire with a bubble in it (which by the way, *I* had to find the jack and spare, on top of the motor), but then he saw the thing wizz past him down the fairly steep grade. It was a long walk to the auto parts store for him for some new lugs...

Benny,

I just took one lug nut from each tire and one from the spare tire mount so I could drive home. That left me with 4 lugs on each tire - plenty to get my dumba** home.

Yeah lucky you had the spare tire mount:) I think my friend lost all his lugs, and each tire only had 4 to begin with...

I did the same with the Corvair, got the prodigal wheel out of the creek and installed it using lug nuts from the other three. The Corvair only had 4 lugs per wheel, so I made sure I took one from a different spot on each of the other three........

That's why I love my '51 Plymouth and '69 Dodge. They have lefthand threads on the left side so the nuts tighten when you drive with them loose.

As for the gas thing, I picked up a sticker at Yuma that says, "Turn on the gas stupid!" I was going to put it on my filler cap, but the OL grabbed it.

My buddy had a sharp Dodge Dart with the left-hand lugs. He bought some Cragar mags and 60 series tires for it and I was helping him change them out. Being a Chevy guy, I had no idea about the Dodge thread thing.....
Put the 4-way on the first lug nut, SNAP , put the 4-way on the next lug nut, SNAP .....
Hmmm, something ain't right here....
Moved to the rear wheel, put the 4-way on the first lug nut, SNAP ......
Needless to say I bought him some new studs and put them in for him.
The only thing worse than old Chrysler products was old Ramblers......

Here's a good one. out for a scoot I see a biker on the side of the road walking around their bike looking puzzeled. I stop and ask if they needed help. Turns out this darlin girl stalled out and couldnt get the scooter started. After looking her over I opened the gas cap. Turned the petcock to res for this young lady and fired her up. suprise. Once I pushed a motor cycle a mile to a gas station before I learned what res was for. We all do nuttin stuff.

You would not believe how long it took me to figure out what the "E" on the dash of my first car meant!! Or why the car would not move when the orange needle was on E!
(it was more a case of just not paying attention, honestly!!) It got to be such a running joke that everybody bought me gas cans for my b-day one year! E does not mean Enough!

Most recently I had my jeep roll off a set of ramps and into the yard! I forgot to block the wheels and was doing some front end work and its a full time 4wd.

Or the time the mom-inlaws garage almost burned down because of a faulty oxy/acetelyne (sp?) regulator and weak hose! not entirely my fault, I swear!

Luckily nobody has been hurt due to my... uhh ...stupidity.

Twice I pulled the carbies of my Duke and cleaned them out as it just wasn't running well at all. Then my wife told me my neighbours kid was fooling about on it. After doing some basic checks I found the choke pulled on. That kid owes me 4 hours of my time!!
PS Sorry 'bout the job thing....good luck finding work.

We've all been there. I left the gas off, once. A plug wire came un-pluged at the coil while cleaning, once. Kill switch, once. A blown fuse left me stranded far from home at night, easily replaced, once. Ran out of gas, more than once. Going to the race track with my '69-1/2 6-PACK Super Bee, I rebuilt the carbs. Couldn't get it to start. Found out I could have won as I would have been the only car in the class. Discovered too late that I forgot to prime the rebuilt carbs to get the gas flowing. Sat at home fuming for NADA!

Oh man this is one funny post! I'm rolling on the floor!! I feel bad for you guy's and your misfortunes .
But on a serious note: I have never done anything goofy or stupid in all of my 44 years.
What's that funny feeling? Why is my conscience bothering me? Must be indigestion or something!

ps. Markomatic I hope you the best in finding work!

I got a call from a friend of mine who bought a new fishing boat. he wanted to know if I would go Salmon fishing with him and help him launch the boat. It was his first boat. I met him at his house and we took of for the lake (Winnipausakee. We got to the boat ramp with no problems. It was a very steep ramp. Probably 20 degrees of pitch. He asked me if i minded backing it down the ramp because he wasn't good at backing up trailers. I told him no problem. He got out of the truck and got all the stuff ready and took of the tie downs. What I didn't realize was that he took all the straps off including the bow strap (Big no no). I assumed he knew not to do that (wrong). I started backing down the ramp and I got a little out of line and decided to hit the brakes. There she went, right off the trailer on to the cement ramp (bang). This was a 17' Sea Nymph with a 50HP Johnson. Not huge but not light either. You should have seen the look on his face when it came off the trailer. The impact punched a about a 2 inch hole in the transom and scraped the crap out of the hull. Well there we were blocking the ramp and a keeping a lot of fisherman from their fishing. We got about 6 guys on each side of that boat and lifted it enough to crank it back on to the trailer. Stories not over, after all the fisherman left my friend says to me "The holes not that big, I bet if we leave the bilge pump on we can go fishing." I wasn't sure but we had driven all that way. So we launched the boat and started away from the dock. We didn't get 50 yards and water was coming through the floor. We had to do a quick about face and head for the ramp. We barely made it before that sucker sank. What a ****** getting it on the trailer.

Gee guys, I don't feel so all alone now :-)

Or, after doing the valves, I had everything back together except the gas tank, cranked it over a few times without the Igniters to get some oil up into the valves (and make sure nothing went CLUNK!), then put the Igniters on, and fired 'er up. Or tried to. Just kept turning over, but no spark. Panic about set in, till I looked down and noticed I had forgot to plug the brain box back into the harness. Funny, you'd think the stupid igniters would still have enough sense to fire on their own without having to be told by the brain box!! Geez!

Great story Grump. I had a '72 Cutlass and bashed the right side of the grill. It wasn't until I snatched the left side out that I realised it was a two-piece grill. Could've bought one, ended up buying both!

The worste thing I have done is forgetting to connect the fule line back to the petcock.

So I was siting at the light at the end of my street, realized , I forgot to turn the petcock on....when I did, the guy next to me started honking his horn and yelling at me that my bike was pouring out gas.

I felt like quite the fool.