Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge 3 things you never do when you're over 50!

Friend who turned 50 today was told this at the birthday party...

1. Never miss an opportunity to take a leak before you leave the building.

2. Never trust a fart

3. Never, ever waste a good erection

Thanks for that.

I'll be 50 next spring.

Uncle Charlie

It's true!! It's true!! ROTFLMAO!

When you turn 50 you spend half the time trying to remember someone's name and the other half looking for a place to take a leak, so to never pass one up is perfect advice. Oh yeah and for some reason, you forget to zip your pants.

I thought it was to stop you rolling out of bed?? pmsl

4 - Buy a new corvette

I'm getting close, I can never remember peoples name, always forget to go to the loo before I leave the house and have to go enroute. Now then on erection front, my mrs thinks it has been put there to pull me along while shopping

Boy, it's good to know that I am not the only one. I passed 50 almost 15 years ago.

Dave

Here are a few pointers on how to deal with retirement, sort of fits.





They Ask Why I Like Retirement !

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

My favorite one:
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest!

LMAO Birchr. That was the funiest thing I've heard all day.

I vaguely remember turning 50--but I was much younger then

Simmers, close to 75!!! How old is the oldest member still riding? I'am going on 56.

46 here

Just tripped over 63 and agree with all the above (that I can remember). Got a few years left, and as Willie Nelson said: "I've turned 75 and have outlived my p**ker".

Not yet!!!!

I turned 50 last fall and I would have to say that I can personally vouch for each of those points! Especially #3 Ive been practicing that rule for @35 years!!

Erection ?

I've gotten that way that I don't have foreplay anymore but opt for two lots of two play

I turned 50 last year and I still can get an erection but I can't remember what to do with it, oh bugger it I got to go for a leak again don't know why only went ten minutes ago and ten minutes before that and so on and so on.

Good one Don! As for that last one, I use a drug for that... It's called Triumph!!

Here's my gripe about being over 50. I'm getting more scatterbrained, I.E., careless with where I put stuff. I'm a carpenter, so I'm always carrying tools and stuff around. I swear, somedays, I spend more time looking for where I put something down than I do working! And, I swear! A lot!

I've found that the following 3 things always apply.

1. Don't argue with the wife.

2. Don't argue with the wife.

3. Don't argue with the wife.

You will always loose.

They can always cut off supply.

I turned 50 last month and I can say those three are true. Add number 4 - being scatterbrained - i think of things and then they are gone.
Ken

well, I'll never see 50 again and........what was the question again?

Talk about turning 50....

My wife tells everybody we have a 50/50 relationship. She's in charge for the first 50 years and I get the second.

Only 15 more years to go.....sigh

52yo going on 53.
Took the day off to go for a Classic Club ride today.
Wondered why nobody was at the start venue.
Double checked my program only to find out the ride is on the same time next week & not today. I only hope dementia is not beginning to creep up on me?
As for other bodily functions, I think I've shared enough with this forum over the last couple of days with my AI experiences(and that's not air injection we're talking about either)

Things to do when you're over 50
- dig up almost 5 year old threads!