Bonneville America Forums Forums Technical Forums Accessories Chrome seat rail .. instructions for idiots

Hiya
Anyone follow the instructions for fitting the chrome seat rail?
What's all that "raise and support the motorcycle on a paddock stand" then "using a suitable jacking device, support the twin cradle bars beneath the engine" BOLLOX??

Here's a tip:
undo the upper suspension mounting bolts, fit the thing, re-do the bolts and ride it like you stole it!
Still works and nothing fell off!
Just thought I'd pass that on

I know I'm probably going to be considered reckless for admitting this, but I also failed to disconnect the battery before fitting my sissybar. Shame.. shame..

Matt

This reminds me of a time when i was working as a car salesman for a Ford Dealership. The Ford Experdition had just been released. Like most auto makers now the car came with an onwers manual as well as a VHS Video for the new buyers to look at and to get familiar with the cars features.

Watching this video I was suprised to here during the how to change a flat tire segment the anouncer said. "Before jacking up the car, make sure the car is stationary" .

Man, I would love to see some one jack a car up while it was still moving. That would be worth seeing.

I guess some stupid twat tried to jack the car up when tooling down the highway, broke their nail in the process and is now suing the bollocks of Ford for millions to ease the pain.

Gotta wonder sometimes.

Arsenalfan

Here's another good one: I used to do a lot of retail sales and service of Sony and Mitsubishi products back in the 70s and 80s. On the original SONY VHS VCR manual, from the late 80s, the section that talked about setting the time and date actually had December 7 as the date on the VCR. Seriously, it did. There was a huge uproar and they had to recall the VCRs to swap the manuals out. I bet they are worth some money to someone now.
Mitsubishi sold very top shelp expensive VCRs and included a tape to show you how to hook it up. Huh? How you supposed to play the tape if you don't have it hooked up???

All that crap is so they can say "See, we told you not to..."

I get the biggest kick out of some of them and you know every friggin one of them came about because some moron actually did what the warning tells everyone else now not to!!

Here's a few classics:

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase nesessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

Everyone knows that a Superman costume won't make you fly...you have to use a bath towel tied around your neck. Of course the first time I tried jumping off my neighbors garage I found out what Newton was talking about. I hit the ground right before an apple hit me on the head. Altitude is a good thing....when your in an airplane.

Quote:

---

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

---

Works for me. How else would you stop it? I mean - you hold the saw with both your hands.

Warning...never read post on this site when under the influence of cold medicine...your sense of humor may be disproportional to actual jokes told...you may display the appearance of a raving maniac!

man you guys kill me!

That chainsaw warming means someone actually sliced their dice off with a chainsaw and sued!!!

Hmm... Swedish meatballs... hmm...

Tommy,

Glad to meet a kindred soul. I'd like to pass along that garbage bags, blankets and umbrellas do not work like parachutes either. I'm currently involved in a class action suit against the Coyote if you want in.

BB

Quote:

---

Hmm... Swedish meatballs... hmm...

---

ROTLMAO