Back in the 80's I got a guitar and began learning how to play. I met this guy who was a very talented guitar player named Jessie Bergen and shortly after and we began playing together at parties and social functions. We eventually upgraded to electric guitars and formed a band with a drummer named Eddie Allen. For many years we played here and there, mostly parties and general gatherings of people. We never got paid for.it.. Not cash anyway, just beer and food mostly or other sundries. We had many different people play with us, lots of different bass players and other guitar pickers, keyboards etc. But the "magic" seemed to always work between us three, no matter who else we played with, that combo seemed to be the constant. Jessie called us "the core".
It's hard to explain to a non musician, the emotions involved in playing music. The feeling of finding the groove and letting the music flow as you react to each other just knowing what the other musicians where going to do before they do it. It was something of a spiritual bond and we formed a friendship that would last for decades though we all played in different bands and combinations of bands and even through we had some fallings out, the core remained. Whatever happened in our lives we held that bond.
About 15 years ago we lost Jessie to throat cancer... I took it hard but I think Eddie took it harder. He never let it show, always being the upbeat member of the crew, always with a smile and encouragement. Shortly afterwards he stopped by my place one day and gave me a folder, inside was some songs he had written about Jessie. At the time I wasn't emotionally able to handle reading them so I tucked the folder away in my notebook.
Eddie continued to check in a couple of times every year talking about music he was working on or his rowing which was one of his passions and of course his daughter. I watched her grow up through the pics he sent telling me of her accomplishments. We even got together to play music on special occasions for our circle of friends and sometimes he would just show up at my door to sit and talk or when I was in his area, I would stop by his business or his home just to talk for awhile.
Wednesday of last week I was sitting around the living room and told Di that It had been some time since I had heard from Eddie and thought that I should check in on him. Then on Saturday my daughter was on social media and showed me a post his family had made saying he had passed away. Prostate cancer took him in a few short months. He didn't call to let me know he was sick.. but then he wouldn't have.. just not his style.
I went to my closet and retreived the folder he had given me years before and read the words he had written about Jessie and the bond people can experience. The depth of the man I called friend revealed within. I sat on the floor in my closet for a time awash in emotions and memories while battling the feeling of emptiness and loss of a precious soul.
I attended his service today... They spoke of how he was the guy who made everyone he liked feel like he was their best friend and was always more than ready to help anyone who needed it and offer words of encouragement. There were a massive amounts of people there whose lives he had touched in some way or another. I talked with some of the old crowd we used to run with and exchanged stories about the old crazy days and the music we made together. At the graveside I thought about "the core" and what lies beyond. I'm not a religious person but I wondered if he and Jessie were somehow together again, playing some music, having some laughs and maybe waiting for me to come along and add some rhythm guitar and vocals. Then out of the blue Jessies widow walked up to me and gave me a hug. I thought about the old righteous brothers tune "If theres a rock and roll heaven, you know they've got a helluvva band." and we had a laugh talking about them jamming somewhere in the beyond.
What has this got to do with motorsickles?..nothing.
Why am I telling this story here?
I don't know, I guess I just needed to get it out. Maybe somehow come to terms with it all so I can wake up tomorrow and keep on keeping on... Be the bearer of the flame till its my time to go. My mother always told me that no one is really dead as long as you remember them so I guess that will work for now.
I think I need a long motorcycle ride.
