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Randy
#594191 07/30/2018 12:53 PM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,186
Likes: 55
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,186
Likes: 55
A farmer has 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell.

The other farmer says, “Yeah, I’ve got this great rooster, named Randy. He’ll service every chicken you got, no problem.”

Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he’ll be worth it. So he buys Randy.

The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard first, giving the rooster a pep talk. “Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You’ve got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I’ll need you to do a good job. So take your time and have some fun,” the farmer said, with a chuckle.

Randy seemed to understand, and when the farmer points toward the henhouse, he takes off like a shot. WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the henhouse — three or four times. The farmer is shocked.

Later, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, and sure enough, Randy is in there.

Later still, the farmer sees Randy after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again — WHAM! He gets all the geese.

By sunset, Randy is out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants.

The farmer is distraught — worried that his expensive rooster won’t even last 24 hours.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day, to find Randy dead as a doorknob — stone cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful — and expensive — animal, shakes his head and says, “Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you’ve done to yourself.”

Randy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, “Shhh. They’re getting closer.”


I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
Re: Randy
The_Dog33 #594192 07/31/2018 9:06 AM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,072
Likes: 80
chy Online Content
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,072
Likes: 80
Good one..

Re: Randy
chy #594193 07/31/2018 1:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2005
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Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
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Likes: 7
Sounds like some sailors I used to know.


We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists. But when push comes to shove most of us are sheep who do what we are told. Worst of all, a lot of us become unpaid agents of whoever is controlling the agenda by enforcing the current dogma on the few rugged individualists who actually exist.

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