Sorry to hear about your mishap. I hope you heal up fast. As a guy who play doctor a lot as a college student, I am prescribing "The Nutty Professor" playing on TCM right now. Is it a great movie, no, but you will get to see a 27 year old Stella Stevens and you will fill better.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. H. L. Mencken