Goes without saying, I want to thank each and every one of you for the kind words and thoughts and prayers. I feel compelled to share the following with you about my Dad. "Virg" was a biker in his youth and spent 9 years as a motorcycle cop. As maybe mentioned, I got the fever from him setting me on his tank and giving me rides when I was six years old. During the winter in those years he rode a three wheel HD that I recall being a 45 cube affair with a solo seat and a large trunk, Windscreen and of course, red lights and a wind powered siren.
(Example)
In the winter, at least one winter and to a kid, that is like every winter in my memory. He would tie a rope to the bumper and pull us on my skies up and down the drive way! Yea, that was cool.
He had a number of wrecks, I remember one really messing him up a bit and this became the reason he forbid me to own a motorcycle or a minibike. Back in the early 70's when all my friends had minibikes, even my cousins, my old man was un-yielding.
"I'll be damned if your going to ride something then end up going down the road scrapping your balls off!" Thought he was the harshest man on the planet. But it was his choice. I ignored it of course and learned to ride subversively behind his back. When I became a parent I felt that my Dad had mad a mistake in not letting me ride because it drove me underground and he could have trained me on how to ride, a missed opportunity for him, an opportunity for me and my kids. I taught my kids to ride and respect that which can hurt you or kill you.
"Don't be afraid of it, but respect it because it can kill you." Any friend of theirs that wanted to ride their dirt bikes after obtaining permission from their parents had to go through
"Dad's Motorcycle school!" I was famous!
In the 90's my Dad had a small stroke or the weakness may have been related to a fractured neck from a fall I can't recall. I went home on my motorcycle one weekend and told him to take it for a ride (he had not ridden for years). He said, no, I can't hold the bike up because of the weakness.
" I said, get on, I'll ride behind you and be there to hold the bike up." We went for a short 10 mile ride. I didn't care how goofy it looked, it was a treat to my Dad, who had done the same for me when I was six! Make no mistake it was a treat for me too.
My Dad was a hard man, giving me cause to dislike him greatly and hold a grudge against him. I recall in my late 20's coming to understand the truth of what Mark Twain said;
"I't amazing how smart my Dad became when I turned 28" AS a parent I realized a man does what he knows and learns so I purposed to respect my Dad and forgive him for the past. I didn't see any fruit of that for years until the last couple of years. I realized a very powerful thing and it is the reason I am sharing it here now. I had cause to hold a grudge. I have seen kids do it to their parents and it comes at a great price. You see, over the past few years my Dad softened and because I had let the past go I saw the change and allowed him to become the Dad I had always wanted. Many folks miss that moment when they hold on to the past too tight. As Dad's we are plodding through life making mistakes ourselves. I am grateful that I extend grace to my old man and didn't miss the man he became. I was able to hold his head while he was dying and be grateful that what was in my heart was not bitterness as a result of a young man who didn't do it so good, but the old man who found his way and was loved by his son.
It falls to us to improve on the weaknesses of our Dad's and build their legacy as in due time our kids will do the same.
Thank you all for your kind words.
eddy
