Small town. Trust me, they know more about you two than just your names. Unless most of the other neighbors are transplants, they've had many, many discussions about you. In some towns I've been in, it'll take a couple of generations for "newcomer" to wear off.

For scooters, there are a lot of new options out there.

You might tell them about http://advrider.com/forums/ The Battle Scooters section is pretty active. A lot of them carry scooters on RVs.

Just try to steer them away from the Chinese brands - the build quality is sketchy. Taiwan is OK. If they still want to do it on the cheap, send them to the ScootDawg forum http://itistheride.boards.net/index.cgi

Or, you could just send them to the Honda dealer.

Then you'll become known as the WISE newcomer.

But I was just another Romney guy, so whaddo I know?