Ok...going with the original poster(way back when) heres an article I'm including in my (heavily into HD ) club magazine which I edit.
Thought you folks out there migh appreciate the idea behind it...if you dont hear from me again, then I guess my club didnt appreciate the humour.

Al
SCOOP!
EXCLUSIVE
NEW HARDLY SPOTTED ON THE ROAD!




At last a new improved machine from ‘The Motor Company’
After years of speculation we finally obtained some pictures of Hardly’s new mid range machine. Not surprisingly until very recently the factory continued to deny all knowledge of this bike but we, Dear Reader, spotted this one actually being ridden on the road.
When we confronted Davie Williamson , managing director of Hardly Derision (Europe) He was finally forced to admit the truth about this much rumoured bike.
Granting AMOCTIMES an exclusive interview , Davie told us the story of the bike( known as the Bourneville) and it’s development/
“See guys we figured the MoCo needed a new machine. From the feedback we’ve been getting-to which we always pay attention- say are you ok? I thought I heard you choke there?- we knew we had to address some of the problems inherent in our existing model range.
For example take the Snotster…it’s a fine bike , but some purchasers have taken to misusing it….like running it at high speed, or at all in fact,…in which case, naturally, your going to have problems with a Snotster …like the gearbox…this was designed in an age when gear teeth were traditionally cut from play dough-you cant expect to run at sustained freeway (sorry, motorway) speeds with this sort of metallurgy.
And again we took a long look at our Diner range ….we found that this bike tends to be bought by folks who like to stop a lot for doughnuts, so we’re happy to let them do that and maybe relax to the tinkling melody of timing chains spitting metal into oil pumps…that sure is a popular pastime to judge from the letters I get.
But there was something we figured was missing from our range of bikes…..maybe one that wouldn’t even break the bank let alone any of its component parts, and one that maybe just was more suited to century we live in, ****** man we’re living in the fast lane now with some of our rivals using advanced technology –like them new fangled ‘overheard clams’ I hear tell of.

So here it is…..the Bourneville……

As you can see it’s a traditional V twin….we tried all sorts of angles for the V before settling on 360 degrees……looks neat, eh?
And we needed to have 2 chains on it so ( radically) we put one to work driving the rear wheel….it’s kinda like a belt but it doesn’t snap or squeak and you can even tension it yourself too.
Oh and the other chain we made to turn the valves –originally we were thinking of using it with little buckets attached to fetch up oil from the crankcase to splash around the top end but then we had the idea of using it instead to open the valves –pretty neat, huh?
Only thing we haven’t worked out yet is how to machine-in any inherent problems with the motor….it just keeps going apparently…but we’ve got a whole team working on that one right now with ideas like maybe a little tray that drops a rusty bolt into the bottom end every 1500 miles- though we haven’t finalised that yet.
Best of all, though, like all Hardly’s the Bourneville is 100% Mercian

“Finally” says Davie proudly……..
“We think this is one Hardly that’s going to sell like…er….like stuff that sells quite well.
Go buy one now, and be the last kid on your block to have your bike come home in a box…Gee d’ya think that would work as sales slogan?”

Al
ps couldnt quite get the hang of wher the phots go-but they're of my 2010 TBA

I took the Road Less Travelled. Now where the ****** am I?