 Hollywood Squares
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,243 Likes: 64
Fe Butt
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OP
Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,243 Likes: 64 |
Figured there are enough people on here who have watched this show to get a laugh and even if not the answers will still probably make you laugh.
Hollywood Squares:
These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was
the host asking the questions, of course..
Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is
attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture
you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first
year?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is
the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot
of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to
do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A.. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them
on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
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Re: Hollywood Squares
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
And here's a classic Paul Lynde response that seems especially appropriate on this Fourth of July weekend.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_3tfemWm5Y
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: Hollywood Squares
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 109
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 109 |
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Re: Hollywood Squares
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 259
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 259 |
Thanks for the giggles, I needed them 
“There is no heaven, there is no ******, except here on Earth.â€
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Re: Hollywood Squares
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,839 Likes: 3
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,839 Likes: 3 |
funny, i could hear everyone of the voices of those people in my head as i read that. does that mean i am old or that i have watched to much tv 
ENJOY!!!!! NEWT!!!!!
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Re: Hollywood Squares
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,580
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,580 |
Quote:
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to
do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth
Too old to die young, too ugly to leave a good looking corpse
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Re: Hollywood Squares
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964
Stickman Yogi
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Stickman Yogi
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 12,964 |
Good one Ian... enjoyed the post. 
Live to love, love to live.
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Re: Hollywood Squares
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,164 Likes: 1
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,164 Likes: 1 |
Quote:
funny, i could hear everyone of the voices of those people in my head as i read that.
+1
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Re: Hollywood Squares
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,531
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,531 |
laughed till tears came to my eyes 
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Re: Hollywood Squares
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,243 Likes: 64
Fe Butt
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OP
Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,243 Likes: 64 |
Glad you guys enjoyed that as much as I did, I could hear their voices as I read it too.
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
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