A tourist hired a horse drawn carriage to tour Dublin. Along the way, he offered to buy the driver a drink. Of course, being an ignorant tourist, that's what he bought, A (1) drink. Getting back into the carriage, he said, there Paddy didn't that make a new man of you?"
Paddy answered, "Indaid it did sor, an the new man is jist as tharsty as the auld 'un."

Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python