I wish I could remember how he said all that. It was very funny.

Episode #92; "A house divided"

Episode begins at the Taylor house.. Jill walks in the door:

Jill: Hello-o! Anybody home? Tim?
Tim: I'm here.
Jill: Oh. [Jill puts down her purse and comes over to the kitchen. Tim is working underneath the sink] I picked up my application to graduate school. You know what? I have to write an essay on why I think I'd make a good psychologist. [The camera now takes in a little more of what Tim is working on: there is a combustion engine and a control panel with lots of instruments and switches inside the counter under the sink]
Tim: Well, that's easy. Just tell them you're the kind of person that'll give people advise, whether they want it or not.
Jill: Thank you so m-- [Jill sees the motor] What are you doing, Tim?
Tim: Just putting a little attachment on your garbage disposal.
Jill: Don't touch that, it's working fine!
Tim: Oh, it's working fine if you want to grind up normal stuff, [Tim gets up] which it doesn't do that well anyway. But I got a vision. I'm talking about real stuff: whole corn on the cob with the husk included, [Tim holds up a corncob] avocado pits, heck, avocado trees ought to go down this thing. Other tool guys ask, "Why?", this Tool Man asks, "Why not?"
Jill: This Tool Man's wife asks, "Why me?"
Tim: I'll show you why you. Just in case you need [Tim starts the engine...] extra power [...and dumps in four whole corn on the cob]

[opening credits roll..]
[...]

[skip to Harry's Hardware]

Harry: So what can I do for you?
Tim: I need a spark plug for my garbage disposal.
Harry: [Laughs] You put a gas engine in your disposal?
Tim: Yeah, you got a problem with that?
Al: What, are you gonna race it against other disposals? [Al laughs. Benny enters]
[...]

[skip to end of episode, taylor kitchen again]

Tim enters carrying two bags of snacks, then opens the refrigerator and takes out a real big saussage, some vegetables, and a mustard bottle. He goes over to the counter by the sink and puts the things down he's holding, looks at the garbage disposal and spontaneously decides to test out its capabilities. He looks around to make sure nobody is around and pulls the starter cord on the engine below. He goes on with sticking in the zucchini, followed by the big sausage. Because the disposal was able to handle all that pretty well so far, after a short victory dance he looks around for something else to test it with: Jill's rolling pin that is lying on the counter behind, a hockey stick out of the garage, and almost a whole tree out of the backyard. After the tree part is swallowed Tim picks up a sponge and carefully cleans everything up.

[end of episode]

Source: Home Improvement Archive

Cheers,
Brad

PS: This is the same episode where Tim blows up Bennys house due to a gas leak in the stove

To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.