GUARD: 'Allo, daffy English kaniggets and Monsieur Arthur-King, who
is afraid of a duck, you know! So, we French fellows out-wit you a
second time!
ARTHUR: How dare you profane this place with your presence!? I command
you, in the name of the Knights of Camelot, to open the doors of this
sacred castle, to which God himself has guided us!
GUARD: How you English say, I one more time-a unclog my nose in your
direction, sons of a window-dresser! So, you think you could
out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent running about
advancing behavior! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you
heaving lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters.
ARTHUR: In the name of the Lord, we demand entrance to this sacred
castle!
GUARD: No chance, English bedwetting types. I burst my pimples at you
and call your daughter an unrequested silly thing. You tiny-brained
wipers of other people's bottoms!
ARTHUR: If you do not open this door, we shall take this castle by
force!
[splat]
In the name of God and the glory of our--
[splat]
Right! That settles it!
GUARD: Yes, this time and try
any more or we fire arrows at the tops of your heads
and make castanets out of your testicles already! Ha ha!
ARTHUR: Walk away. Just ignore them.
GUARD: No, remain you illegitimate faced buggerfuls! And, if you think
you got nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing yet! Daffy
English kaniggets! Thpppt!
ARTHUR: We shall attack at once!
BEDEMIR: Yes, my liege!
ARTHUR: Stand by for attack!
