One egg short of an omelet.
One pickle short of a barrel.
One neuron short of a synapse.
The last 10 pages are blank.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Not the brightest crayon in the box.
If brains were taxed, he would get a refund.
If brains were wood, his pet termite would starve.
The starting gate is open, but he's still asking directions.
Donated his brain to science. Science sent it back.
Donated his brain to science. Science is contesting the will.
Donated his brain to science. They thought it was a new strain of bacterium.
Thinks "Middle East" means Virginia and Maryland.
Thinks "Red China" means dishes.
Thinks Latin Americans speak Latin.
Thinks Latin Americans come from Latvia.
Beer has more brains in its head.
If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
Depriving a village somewhere of its idiot.
(Australian) There's a kangaroo loose in the top paddock.
His one neuron is getting mighty lonely.
Has been working with glue too much.
Still trying to figure out that one about the chicken and the road.
Out of his depth in a wading pool.
Prime candidate for natural de-selection.
Poster boy for the Alzheimer's Foundation.
Fell out of the family tree.
Couldn't empty water out of a bucket with the instructions printed on the bottom.
Always laughs before the punchline.
His dream job? Paperweight.
A room temperature IQ.
Hates that cotton in pill bottles. It tastes bad, and it's hard to swallow.
Hits his thumb with the hammer on each downswing, his head on each upswing.
Deeply confused about what time it is. Gets a different answer each time he asks.
When they circumcised him, they threw away the wrong part.
Once tried to find hay in a needlestack.
Does the work of three men: Larry, Moe & Curly.
Loves nature, in spite of what it did to him.
Ordered a cheeseburger and said, "Hold the cheese."
Called information to get the number for 911.
When he heard 90% of all accidents occur around the home, he moved.
