you should build a trebushet and take it down to the Sears parking lot and launch that thing through the store front. Then run through the hole left in the store front by the leaky bike lift dressed like a Gaul. With a shield on one arm, torch in hand, and a sword in the other. light every thing on fire that will burn and smash every thing else with the sword. then ride off on a new riding lawnmower.
