Quote:

There's a hurt little girl down inside that desperately needs a stable one to hold onto her .




Ok, I'm a bit late to the party.....
Keith, as a woman in recovery (I'll be 25 years sober in January), I applaud you for being willing to help this woman. Many people may have already given up on her, and as you suggested, she has probably burned some bridges.

I agree with the suggestion that you get her to some AA meetings or some other form of layperson recovery support network (there are others besides AA, like Rational Recovery).

I also strongly- STRONGLY- suggest that you connect her to other WOMEN in recovery. Other women will help her and hold her accountable to the actions necessary to get herself sober in ways that a man might not. You can call AA and they will hook her up with sober women in your area.

If she is serious about getting help, she can get into a detox with or without insurance (at least in the US) with follow-up aftercare of some sort (which WILL be necessary). Help her by pointing her in the direction of professional help and by not accepting any excuses not to accept help.

Helping her would be driving her to a detox that has a bed open, walking her in the door and telling her you'd be glad to pick her up once she has COMPLETED treatment and is committed to her aftercare plan.

Enabling her would be saying "Oh you poor sweet thing, I know you MEANT to call detox today but you got drunk instead...because you have your period....beacause it's cloudy....because it's sunny....beacuse it's Wednesday..." There is no tomorrow when it comes to getting sober, the only day to do it is today. Don't let her play you.

Also, for your own support, check out Al-Anon, the support network for people who care about someone with an alcohol problem. They have a great website, with resourses about how to care about someone while setting your own boundaries and not getting drawn into the crazy alcoholic web.


"Let your soul shine, It's better than sunshine, It's better than moonshine, ****** sure better than rain." -ABB