Love Ron, your comments are spot on. But let's look at this from the situation at hand. Having to pay for a completed procedure is one thing. Not having the procedure until it has been paid is another.
So cash, now, is the goal. Now the question of Honor arises. Respect for the recipient demands no contributions. That we show respect and honor and help in ways acceptable. Like purchasing those items for sale. Yet what if either the purchase amounts are too high or the items have been sold? Where does that leave those who wish to help out? Whose honor is paramount? How can we convey a true sense of giving? One with no expectations of reciprocation? A gift from the heart. How do we convey in no uncertain terms that will we ever, in any small way, ever, make mention of our help?
So we find ourselves in a catch 22. As dear friends, we are honor bound to help yet we have to dishonor the recipient by mailing anonymous contributions. Anonymous contributions are the only avenue left for us. How can strings be attached via anonymous contributions? Only by those who contributed when they fess up. Let's say that these people are not those who would contribute in the first place and indeed they should not contribute at all.
Now the larger issue. How to sway the recipient to use the contributions? This time respected, engrained, live your life by rule, has to violated. Leaving the recipient feeling degraded. Not in our eyes but in theirs. The only way I see it is to make an anonymous contribution then forget about it. Keep the well wishes cards flowing, keep them in your thoughts and take time every day to reflect on the good friends we have in life.
Respect demands respect. Is a silent disrespect disrespectful? This occurrence is not a precedent setting event nor should it be. No demands should be made. No expectations made. Let one’s heart decide.
Your suggestion about having 3 guys decide, flows rather well with the silent disrespect. However, the part about knowing the need then dividing it up would have to be tweaked for those who are not prepared to meet the resultant amount. Now more inferred judgment issues may arise. Why did so and so only contribute x amount? This is why anonymous donations might be the way to go. All that needs to be conveyed is the recipients mailing address. No overseers, no accountability. How do we know when the goal has been met? Exactly. We won’t! Until we hear of the successful surgery and medical care being administered. Good news for all.
