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The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. BA$TARD$!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Its why I prefer dogs, they'll only eat people you tell them to

That was fun, Thanks!

That's just excellent!

That was spot on Scubadude!

I always try and keep on the good side of my cats though, after all they allow me to live in their house.

What you have to remember that in ancient times, cats were revered as gods and the little s**ts have never forgotten this.

A dog has owners, a cat has staff....
ModelMaker

When I come home at night, my dog is all over me, wiggling excited. I'm his "favorite thing." My kids? If they acknowledge me at all, it's mumbled "yeah, hi, Dad," without so much as a glance my way.

Overall it hits the nail on the head. Although I once took in a long abandoned cat and it seemed very grateful. The dogs I had at the time didn't even seem to mind.

My dogs (huskies) love my cats! And the cats think the dogs are big, animated playtoys.

My dog thinks she's a cat: she purrs, and she was known for pinning down our previous feline and giving her a tongue bath. And absolutely no one in the house may give or receive attention unless she's getting some too.

The cat's still a kitten and just plain nuts - every morning as I head to the kitchen she yells at me and runs away - to a card table where she's semi-trapped and more within pre-coffee reach. This is one of her more sane habits.

She doesn't think she's a prisoner though - more like an emperor with slightly stupid subjects to cater to her every whim.

Sounds just like my house!!!

I once had a kitten that was immediately adopted by my female chow and my big male cat. All her 20 years she thought she was half dog. When we first got her, she was so young she didn't know how to eat or drink from a dish. I taught her by dipping up a little water or food on my finger and letting her lick it off, each time a little closer to the dish until she was getting the stuff on her own. After that, she used to use her paw to eat and drink.

As I believe the following photographic evidence is relevant to this discussion about the inherent personality differences between the species Canis familiaris and Felis domestica, I would hereby submit the proposition to you kind people that the latter of these species I've mentioned would NEVER submit either willingly or not to such barbarous treatment perpetrated upon them by the species Homo Sapien in a million years!(..of evolution)









<--This one's my favorite! What a look he's givin' the camera, huh???!!!

What used to make me laugh was when our cat, Diablo, used to wait in the bushes by the front of our house around 9pm every night. There was a lady who used to walk he highland terrier around that time. Well the cat used to jump out at the dog and chase it around a bit.

It must have taken her a couple of weeks to realise that ideally she should walk on the other side of the street.

You cant trust an animal who treats you like dirt, you never know what there thinking



I'm not just meaning cats either

icanhascheezburger.com for those of you that like funny pics of cats. links on the top for other sites.

And don't forget the "other half": http://ihasahotdog.com/

Apropos of nothing.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8501042.stm

Quote:

---

People who own a cat are more likely to have a university degree than those with a pet dog, a study by Bristol University suggests.

A poll of 2,524 households found that 47.2% of those with a cat had at least one person educated to degree level, compared with 38.4% of homes with dogs.

The study said longer hours, possibly associated with better qualified jobs, may make owning a dog impractical.

---

This BBC report then goes on to say the Bristol University poll also found:

People who own a ferret were more likely to make a living by selling their blood to the Red Cross, college degree or not.

People who own a bird were further broken down into sub-demographics:

People who own a parrot were more likely to have a college degree, but it's a degree in Political Science, and thus are less likely to actually make a lively using that degree and thus are most likely working at their local Supermarket stocking groceries.

People who own a Mynah bird were more likely to be extremely hairy individuals(yes, both men AND women..YEECH!!!), and were most likely to hold a post-graduate degree in the fine art of lawn bowling.

NICE!

I set 'em up, Dwight knocks 'em down...

Dwight you forgot to mention one interesting aspect of cat ownership that the Bristol university report may have omitted.

The sub genre of cat owners who fall into the grouping "wanabe Sigfriedus et Royus" and favour the "ginormous, hungreyous, stripy et fangus tigerus" variety of cats failed to achieve any higher educational qualifications due to not being seen at enrolment or at any time come to think of it.