Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge Animal rights protestors violated at biker rally

Not sure if this has been posted already.

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials.

“Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.”

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.”

According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!”

“I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.”

Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.”

Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.

“That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”

When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.

I Love It ! Secret Handshake ! I love all people including PETA people but what were they thinking, of course they got peed on.

all ready posted.. by kidhaf...on 1/04/10 ...web page

Ed

First time I've read it and loved it, especially the secret handshake bit.

Hey, I remember pis#ing on a kid after scouts. He had put rabbit guts in my sleeping bag so me and a couple of mates (we were about 15 yrs old) organised to grab em after scouts when walking home. We stripped this kid off till he was naked and then while they held him down I did my secret handshake.

The funniest part was him turning up to my other two mates home with his dad in tow, wanting explanations. My parents weren't home luckilly but apparently he was shivering

I thought it best I tell my ole man about it and he laughed his head off

I won't mention the rubbing decorub (a muscle heat goo generally used by sportspeople) into his nether regions using a gloved hand of course.

Yep, should be more of it cos these radicals need ejacation.

That is the most bada** thing I've ever heard
PETA= people eating tasty animals haha

I live in Johnstown and I believe your story is bull***. Funny story. However not true. But, guess cause I live there I'll just have to leave this forum. Rather than argue the point.

It's just a joke. It's been popping up all over the intarwebs.

Here's your proof it was spoof:

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i66233

Still, a very funny story!

Spoof or not, still VERY funny. And yes it was posted last week sometime, but it is still VERY funny!

Don't get me wrong, I WISH it was true.

So do I! I can just imagine it being true!

There is always "Vegan Friday" at Sirloin Stockade.