Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge The wisdom of Dilbert

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as
they go flying by.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the
first time, chances are you won't need him again

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought
to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?”

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, and then
beat you with experience.

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month
than you did before.

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will
happen to you the rest of the day.

If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Following the rules will not get the job done.

Definitely words to live by!

My Favorites are:

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I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

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A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

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The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

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Following the rules will not get the job done.

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Wow, these are so very true!! I come across some of these people on a daily basis.

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Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

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First I thought this one worked for me... then I got to thinking. I AM irreplaceable! Who could possible fit in my shoes, or even WANT to. It can't be better put than this...

"I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together." And I use this quote from "I am the Walrus" by the Beatles to exemplify my point. Did ya think I was anything less than myself?