 Tiger joke
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Joined: Jul 2007
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Worn Saddle
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OP
Worn Saddle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,060 Likes: 6 |
What's the difference between a golf ball and an SUV? Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 ys.
Fidelis et Fortis
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,254
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,254 |
his new "i,m sorry and it wont happen again " pic 
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 663
Adjunct
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Adjunct
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What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
2013 Speedmaster Matte Black
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Technically he waited in the car while she went clubbing...
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 182
Adjunct
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Adjunct
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they're not all winners but here you go....
Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said “I don’t know exactly, but put me down for a 5.â€
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.
Why did Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant AND a tree? He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
Why did Phil Mickelson call Elin yesterday? To pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.
What is the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole? Ask Tiger, he knows.
Tiger drives very well on the fairway but doesn’t fare very well on the driveway.
Whats the difference between a golf ball and a caddy? Tiger can drive a golf ball.
Nike wants to drop their endorsement due to accuracy problems. Apparently, Tiger’s spraying his balls everywhere.
It turns out that fixing Tiger’s game and fixing his marriage both require the same thing: better control over his putz.
Why was Tiger’s wife mad at him? She heard that he played a-round in Australia.
What will the headline be if they prove it is domestic violence? TIGER’S WIFE MAKES THE CUT
Given Tiger’s racial heritage can we call this a Black Thai affair?
Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family. Cheetah.
Elin Woods has a twin sister named Josephine. Know how to tell them apart? Elin is the one holding the bent 5 iron.
First words spoken to the paramedics by Tiger: Who are you? And what are all these trees doing in my living room?
Tiger Wood’s shirt is all red- problem is, there’s no tournament, and his veins are a pint low.
What does Tiger have in common with a baby seal? They’ve both been clubbed by a Norwegian.
According to Wanda Sikes, the black in him bought the caddy and the asian in him wrecked it.
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 380
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 380 |
A TRUE Tiger story: When his career started before he was 21 he tryed to get into this night club in Tulsa Oklahoma called Sunset Grill (located once at 36 and Brookside) He was under age and a friend was the door host / bouncer. Tiger tried to get in and was not allowed. He said "don't you know who I am? I'm Tiger Woods" my friend said "I don't care if you are the Lion King you ain't coming in here" A great TRUE story! Enjoy Scottie 
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7
Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7 |
Tiger's Girls as of 12/10/09 
We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists. But when push comes to shove most of us are sheep who do what we are told. Worst of all, a lot of us become unpaid agents of whoever is controlling the agenda by enforcing the current dogma on the few rugged individualists who actually exist.
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Okay...BUT I have to ask here, Larry...WHAT the heck was he thinkin' with Number-4 there, HUH???!!!  Okay, okay...MAYBE she's a great conversationalist!!! Yeah, YEAH!!! THAT'S gotta be it, alright!!!   (oh and BTW...are there NO MORE women under the age of 30 out there anymore who don't have those lousy friggin' fake boobs????) 
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 663
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 663 |
One thing is for sure...we know he likes the wings (or maybe the breasts) at Hooters!!! 
2013 Speedmaster Matte Black
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 167
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 167 |
He shouldve been driving his Buick
I cried because I could wheelie then I met someone without a motorcycle
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 657
Adjunct
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Adjunct
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Would this be the first time Tiger has had a 10 birdie round?  Latest update, it is now an 11 birdie round!!!!!!!
Last edited by DollarBill; 12/10/2009 9:22 PM.
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 740
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 740 |
Quote:
Tiger's Girls as of 12/10/09
The kicker(to me anyway) is I know number 6 (Kalika)...small world ,huh?
And no not in the biblical way....bummer that 
Bill.
"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered."
-George Best
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Quote:
Tiger's Girls as of 12/10/09
Two more (well, two more plus fill in the silhouettes) and we'd have a decent calendar. You've already got the name.
Last edited by FriarJohn; 12/11/2009 2:05 AM.
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,225 Likes: 62
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,225 Likes: 62 |
Quote:
Okay...BUT I have to ask here, Larry...WHAT the heck was he thinkin' with Number-4 there, HUH???!!!
Okay, okay...MAYBE she's a great conversationalist!!! Yeah, YEAH!!! THAT'S gotta be it, alright!!!
(oh and BTW...are there NO MORE women under the age of 30 out there anymore who don't have those lousy friggin' fake boobs????)
Maybe she looks really good walking away.
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 740
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 740 |
Frankenboobs are a must for the under 30 crowd in Vegas.That seems to be where Tiger likes to go fishin
Bill.
"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered."
-George Best
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 740
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 740 |
Hey what's the diff between Tiger and Santa?...... Santa stopped at 3 hos!!!!!
Bill.
"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered."
-George Best
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,611 Likes: 1
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,611 Likes: 1 |
Stewart
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"It's outside your field of expertise."
"Poppycock normally is."
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 482
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 482 |
What's the difference between a Tiger and a Cheetah?
George
Freelance Observer
07 BA with 605's, engine dresser bars, and cheap saddle bags.
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
What's the difference between a Tiger and a Cheetah?
Well George, If the ol' saw that goes "Cheetahs Never Prosper" holds any validity at all, then I suppose in the case of THIS particular "Tiger", there's really NO difference AT ALL, is there?!
Ya see, I think THIS "Tiger" made his big mistake when he decided to go after all those younger kittens out there who seem to now be seeking all the attention they can catch, when maybe he SHOULD'VE concentrated his prowlings to the Cougars out there who probably have enough experience to know how to keep quiet and continue to slink around unnoticed!
(of course the above is just some "zoological theory" based on my long ago past experieneces when I was but a solitary young jungle cat out on the prowl myself years ago, and BEFORE I got MARRIED to the whole idea of seeking domesticated bliss within my own den!)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 582
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 582 |
New swin suit/ golf calender: Tiger's favorite 18 ho's
"Got the wind in my face the road goes on for miles...."
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 386
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 386 |
Can't understand why after a insignificent car crash all these shielas come out of the woodwork - I'm gonna be more careful driving in future
2x Norton Commando Roadsters
08 Triumph America
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Can't stand golf. But Tiger's my new hero.
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 663
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 663 |
Quote:
I wonder where this was done - gotta love their sense of humor!
2013 Speedmaster Matte Black
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,730 Likes: 5
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,730 Likes: 5 |
looks like a Jacksonville Jaguars football game
Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck. Then pretend to be someone else.
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 663
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 663 |
Thanks! 
2013 Speedmaster Matte Black
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 657
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 657 |
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 529
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jun 2007
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Quote:
Tiger's Girls as of 12/10/09
Me thinks he was going for a full 18 holes. But does it really count if he plays the same course over?
2005 America, green/gray, gutted stock pipes, tall sissy bar w/ luggage rack, Saddleman's dual touring seat and Tourmaster saddlebags (and sissybar bag).
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,730 Likes: 5
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,730 Likes: 5 |
he would have only needed 6 girls for 18 holes... 
Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck. Then pretend to be someone else.
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 404
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Apr 2007
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6 girls 
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,580
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,580 |
Quote:
he would have only needed 6 girls for 18 holes...
What a waste. Just spent £25 on a new xmas DVD... "Tiger, my 18 favorite holes".
Turns out to be about bleedin GOLF!
It's been announced that next years shirt sponser for Tiger Woods will be Tampax. A spokesman for Tampax said "To sponsor a c---- going through a bad period is exactly what our company is about!"
Too old to die young, too ugly to leave a good looking corpse
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 380
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 380 |
thats bad! lol
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,580
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,580 |
Found this  if it works
Last edited by brindle; 02/03/2010 6:24 PM.
Too old to die young, too ugly to leave a good looking corpse
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,611 Likes: 1
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,611 Likes: 1 |
Stewart
.......
"It's outside your field of expertise."
"Poppycock normally is."
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,730 Likes: 5
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,730 Likes: 5 |
geez, aren't we past this topic yet? 
Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck. Then pretend to be someone else.
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Re: Tiger joke
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,580
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,580 |
I give up Wasn't that funny anyway 
Too old to die young, too ugly to leave a good looking corpse
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