 FOR SALE: Talking Dog
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 298
Adjunct
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OP
Adjunct
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 298 |
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff.
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Re: FOR SALE: Talking Dog
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7
Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7 |
Old joke but still good:
A 75-year old man, who loves to fish, was sitting in his boat one day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."
He looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming. Then he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, "Are you talking to me?"
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me, and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your wife!"
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in his front breast pocket.
Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me, and I will be your beautiful wife."
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists. But when push comes to shove most of us are sheep who do what we are told. Worst of all, a lot of us become unpaid agents of whoever is controlling the agenda by enforcing the current dogma on the few rugged individualists who actually exist.
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Re: FOR SALE: Talking Dog
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,531
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,531 |
 Oh my...I can identify with that !
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Re: FOR SALE: Talking Dog
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 497
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 497 |
Sounds familiar.
The dog is valuable, but his character is in question.
If there's nothing wrong with me,
maybe there's something wrong with the universe!
-Dr. Crusher
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Re: FOR SALE: Talking Dog
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7
Monkey Butt
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Monkey Butt
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,630 Likes: 7 |
Quote:
Sounds familiar.
The dog is valuable, but his character is in question.
  Many people have talked about the honesty of animals but I don't think many have actually observed them closely. My dogs had a good trick that worked for them for some time. My wife and I are often on different schedules and whichever of us gets up first feeds the dogs. Often the second one does not get out of bed until some time after the first has gone to work. The dogs then start acting as if they haven't eaten and usually get fed twice. I guess it didn't dawn on them that we would compare notes. I love the guilty look on their faces when I laugh at them after reading her note that says they were fed already.
My old terrier used to limp whenever he was scolded. I guess he figured an injured dog got more sympathy.
Of course selective hearing is just as prevalent among dogs as it is among people.
We all like to think of ourselves as rugged individualists. But when push comes to shove most of us are sheep who do what we are told. Worst of all, a lot of us become unpaid agents of whoever is controlling the agenda by enforcing the current dogma on the few rugged individualists who actually exist.
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Re: FOR SALE: Talking Dog
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,590
Check Pants
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Check Pants
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,590 |
Quote:
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana
I always thought the centre of the "taking dawg" world was somewhere near Adairville, Kentucky or meybe Ten'see.
We tend to specialize in anti-social types, like the Unabomber, who's claim to fame was riding his single wheel bicycle to the Lincoln Post office once a week. But that's mostly a premeditated media blitz to thwart the immigration of wealthy patrons from the Coasts, who dream of log mansions with a view 
jh
Last edited by freedom; 09/24/2009 12:45 PM.
"It's not what I say that's important, it's what you hear" Red Auerbach
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Re: FOR SALE: Talking Dog
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
I always thought the centre of the "taking dawg" world was somewhere near Adairville, Kentucky...
I did TOO, John! In fact I understand there's a whole special breed of talkin' dawgs just from there......Adairville Airedales!!!
Yep! And try sayin' THAT three times fast, huh!!!
(okay...I'll leave quietly now)   
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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