cop - I've been waiting for you all day.

speeder - I got here as fast as I could.

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The cop approached the car and he asked "Maam do you know why I pulled you over?" With a big smile she replied "Sure, you are selling tickets to the policeman's ball."
He then said, "Mam, I am a State Trooper, we don't have balls."

Stewart ....... "It's outside your field of expertise." "Poppycock normally is."