Simon
although we never met personally I have read many of your posts, so I do feel as if we met if not in body but at least spirit. I hope everything works out for you.
We all go through periods of darkness and deep soul searching. When we come out the other, side which you will be under no illusion of that, it will make you a stronger person.
Stay on board keep posting I am sure many of the people in BA.com can relate to your problems and hey we might be able to sometimes offer analternate advice or support. Sometimes the simplest words from friends can make a huge difference.
Peace & Respect
your friend
Eric