Firmest setting I believe Ron. Also, the suggestion about a good seat is spot on, as is a backrest.
I'm yet to buy a backrest for my missus, but I've got a corbin seat for her and also I have fantastic shocks in Hagon Nitros. Big Difference going over those bad bumpy roads.
I look at the prospect of taking my missus for a ride is the same as camping. Pick the nicest spot and have the RIGHT gear for her. Then if she has a good experience, it'll be fine from then on.
Good luck
