 dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3
Old Hand
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OP
Old Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3 |
Back when some fast food company had taken to overloading their hamburgers with "secret" sauce (Their ads featured people dribbling sauce on the ground and guessing what the mess looked like) I saw a fool driving down the 101 in a VW leaning way over into the passenger seat area so his burger would dribble on the floor instead of his cloths. He ended up going down the steep hillside onto the 405, hope he didn't get any on himself.
In So Cal, some idiots have the idea that they can tailgate and then run off into the emergency lane to stop. I was on the 210 freeway when someone a few cars up dropped a driveshaft and came to an unexpected stop. I had enough room to stop, but the idiot behind ended up in the emergency lane next to me. Then, he was suddenly moved up a couple of car lengths with the idiot who was tailgating him firmly embedded in his boot.
Traffic on the 101 freeway came to a stop. The guy ahead of me locked his brakes and ended up sideways. He would have been just fine, but he let off the brakes before he stopped. His car went forward and hit the center divider just hard enough to trip his fuel pump cutoff switch. His car had minimal damage, but it wasn't going to run again until it was reset by the dealer. I really love carburettors and engine driven fuel pumps!
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 37
Greenhorn
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Greenhorn
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 37 |
I have a list of vehicles I avoid like a hand grenade dipped in AIDS. (Remember, I drive a Jeep Wrangler now as I am waiting to get a bike)
1. Minivans with "Soccer Mom" stickers.
2. Any lifted rig with "Cowboy Up" stickers.
3. Vehicles with multiple "Jesus" stickers. (Each Jesus sticker directly results in a 5hp decrease in performance. Multiple stickers decrease the hp significantly enough for that vehicle to be "the one" holding up traffic. Woe is the one behind a Geo Metro with 50 Jesus stickers.)
4. Any rusted, beat up, bumper barely holding on, "Where's The Beef?" bumper sticker holding the right brake light so it doesn't fall off vehicle. They just don't care.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me" Hunter S. Thompson
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,207 Likes: 58
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 23,207 Likes: 58 |
I also give big trucks a wide berth (tractor trailers) in case of a loose chain or strap or bad tire and to be sure I am far enough away to swerve if it changes lanes and the driver doesn't see me in the mirror. A good rule is to try and be where you can see the driver in his mirror then he should be able to see you. Also don't hang along side one, either stay behind or pass quickly.
I learned all I need to know about life by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Eat right ,Exercise ,Stay fit, Die Anyway!
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Re: dumb things "motorists" do
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,611 Likes: 1
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 3,611 Likes: 1 |
Yesterday while running errands with the family, I had the pleasure of witnessing a couple of aholes of the twowheeled variety.....
First one was a guy on a cruiser of some unidentifiable brand holding up traffic on I65 - doing 60 in a 70. I guess you don't have much throttle control when you're standing on the seat! That's right folks, he was standing on the seat arms outstretched like JC on the cross. I quickly passed him (so I didn't have to run over him) the whole while my wife(a newbie rider herself) was freaking out. As we passed, he was sitting with his legs hanging over the handlebars, the look on his face was like a puppy or a three year old - all proud saying look at me! Yeah I'm looking and you're still an ahole!
The next group was a sport bike with female passenger both wearing the required sandals,wifebeaters and no helmets, and a cruiser sharing a lane who seemed to be enjoying a game of leap frog, waving each other up and back. Sportbiker must have been running in too low a gear- he let go with the throttle hand to wave on his buddy and the bike got all squirrelly. All I could do was shake my head and pass as quickly as possible....
I'll be glad when gas prices stabilize and all these newbie riders get bored and go back to their cars.
Stewart
.......
"It's outside your field of expertise."
"Poppycock normally is."
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3
Old Hand
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OP
Old Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3 |
Speaking of trucks, once saw some idiot in a Lamborghini blabbing on his toy telephone drift out of his lane and under a 53 ft trailer. When he hung up and looked where he was, he panicked and ran off the road into a corn field.
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Quote:
His car went forward and hit the center divider just hard enough to trip his fuel pump cutoff switch. His car had minimal damage, but it wasn't going to run again until it was reset by the dealer. I really love carburettors and engine driven fuel pumps!
Yeah, it sucks when the car is smarter than the driver...
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555 |
Quote:
I have a list of vehicles I avoid like a hand grenade dipped in AIDS. (Remember, I drive a Jeep Wrangler now as I am waiting to get a bike)
1. Minivans with "Soccer Mom" stickers.
2. Any lifted rig with "Cowboy Up" stickers.
3. Vehicles with multiple "Jesus" stickers. (Each Jesus sticker directly results in a 5hp decrease in performance. Multiple stickers decrease the hp significantly enough for that vehicle to be "the one" holding up traffic. Woe is the one behind a Geo Metro with 50 Jesus stickers.)
4. Any rusted, beat up, bumper barely holding on, "Where's The Beef?" bumper sticker holding the right brake light so it doesn't fall off vehicle. They just don't care.
Be warned Justin, when you find the 2 wheels you are looking for. The people you mention here become even more dangerous.
But at least the ones with all the Jesus stickers realize they need help.
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 78
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 78 |
I past a guy actually reading a paperback novel on Rt. 78. I slowed down to take another look to make sure I wasn't seeing things. Unbelievable!!
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 638
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 638 |
I once saw a lady in a convertible holding the steering wheel with one hand and her HAT with the other... she was worried that it would blow away...
see people on I 85 reading the paper all the time but was scares me the most is cagers on the cell phone talking or texting; they have no idea on what's going on around them.
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 973
3/4 Throttle
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3/4 Throttle
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 973 |
It amazes me that after spending vast amounts of money on the latest merc or beemer, the driver has no money left to afford a hands free car kit (or glasses come to that). You would also be suprised to know that when i'm at work, the 4 tonne ambulance im sat in, with the reflective tape, blue flashing lights and siren that sounds like an amplified howler monkey having an orgasm, suddenly develops a cloaking device like the ones seen on star trek. However most people can spot a police traffic car hidden behind a tree at two miles. Later i'll be ranting on about horse riders on the road, lorry drivers and the spawn of satan himself - cyclists( oooo how I get hacked off with those tree hugging, lycra clad nazis)! 
Before the war on terror, if I saw an unattended package I used to think "I'll be having that!"
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3
Old Hand
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OP
Old Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3 |
Quote:
the spawn of satan himself - cyclists
It is well known that those tight shiny black pants cut off the circulation to the centre of better sense.
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555 |
Quote:
It amazes me that after spending vast amounts of money on the latest merc or beemer, the driver has no money left to afford a hands free car kit (or glasses come to that).
suddenly develops a cloaking device like the ones seen on star trek.
Later i'll be ranting on about horse riders on the road, lorry drivers and the spawn of satan himself - cyclists( oooo how I get hacked off with those tree hugging, lycra clad nazis)!
I was starting to think that those cyborg looking head sets where standard equiment on a Merc Or Beamer. Every time I see some one get out of one. He has one of those units welded to his head.I think they are turniong into Cybermen.
All motorcycles are equiped with secret cloaking devises. They turn on automaticly once you enter traffic.
And yep the spandex wearing "cycle boys" are out. I'm sure somtime this season I'll come close to bagging one. Most seem to think they dont have to obey common traffic laws.Such as... oh I dont know, stop signs?
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 37
Greenhorn
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Greenhorn
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 37 |
Quote:
Quote:
I have a list of vehicles I avoid like a hand grenade dipped in AIDS. (Remember, I drive a Jeep Wrangler now as I am waiting to get a bike)
1. Minivans with "Soccer Mom" stickers.
2. Any lifted rig with "Cowboy Up" stickers.
3. Vehicles with multiple "Jesus" stickers. (Each Jesus sticker directly results in a 5hp decrease in performance. Multiple stickers decrease the hp significantly enough for that vehicle to be "the one" holding up traffic. Woe is the one behind a Geo Metro with 50 Jesus stickers.)
4. Any rusted, beat up, bumper barely holding on, "Where's The Beef?" bumper sticker holding the right brake light so it doesn't fall off vehicle. They just don't care.
Be warned Justin, when you find the 2 wheels you are looking for. The people you mention here become even more dangerous.
But at least the ones with all the Jesus stickers realize they need help.
That's what scare my wife. I promised her that I'll take the safety classes as a refresher.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me" Hunter S. Thompson
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 124
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 124 |
Quote:
the 4 tonne ambulance im sat in, with the reflective tape, blue flashing lights and siren that sounds like an amplified howler monkey having an orgasm,
and the spawn of satan himself - cyclists( oooo how I get hacked off with those tree hugging, lycra clad nazis)!
Back when I was a truck driver the cyclists used to drive me nuts. always in the middle of the road and then when you finally found room to pass at the next light they would go around you on the side and run the light so you had to pass them again. I fixed a bunch one time that had done the to me at 2 consectutive lights. the had head phones on and we were on a down hill streach so I killed the engine before I came up on them and then when I was close gave em a good long blast on the air horn. Wow, they scatter like squirrels when you do that.
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,068 Likes: 1
Saddle Sore
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Saddle Sore
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,068 Likes: 1 |
So it's DUMB to put Jesus stickers on your car there , Justin ? Gross generalization don't ya think ? Let's see ,"Jesus sticker" people are generally DUMB , SLOW , and drive old low-hp Geo Metro class vehicles . We'll let ya slide THIS time . Say that crap about Muslims or other ethnicities and see what gets incited . 
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555 |
Uh-oh Justin has just learned that a statment not meant to offened somtimes can.
And Wade dont you know that White Christians are the only group left, that it is politcally acceptalbe to bash?
There is a fish on my bumper.
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,727 Likes: 5
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,727 Likes: 5 |
Quote:
There is a fish on my bumper.
my fish has feet 
Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck. Then pretend to be someone else.
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,068 Likes: 1
Saddle Sore
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Saddle Sore
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 5,068 Likes: 1 |
Agreed , Jack . I have the same sticker . " Icthus " 
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
There is a fish on my bumper.
Now JACKSON!!! You say you've got a FISH on your BUMPER???!!! What's wrong with you???
Now if you'd just place that there fish in some aluminum foil and wire it up to your engine block...well THEN you'd have some goooooood eatin' in about 50 miles or so, dude!!!
(oh and BTW...if'n you'd put some peeled and sliced onions in with that there fish, then you'd REALLY have some goooooooood eatin'....sorry, I almost forgot that part)
Last edited by Dwight; 06/15/2008 11:07 PM.
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555
Loquacious
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Loquacious
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,555 |
Quote:
Quote:
There is a fish on my bumper.
Now JACKSON!!! You say you've got a FISH on your BUMPER???!!! What's wrong with you???
Now if you'd just place that there fish in some aluminum foil and wire it up to your engine block...well THEN you'd have some goooooood eatin' in about 50 miles or so, dude!!!
 Dwight if there is one thing you are good for, it is breaking the tension.
The percentage you're paying is too high-priced
While you're living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he's made on your dreams
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,727 Likes: 5
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,727 Likes: 5 |
and we are well on our way to another locked thread now, so lets get back to dumbass cagers, Friday I get on the highway, I cant merge into traffic because a woman is to busy applying her makeup to let me in  I also love riding when high schools get out, especially in the "privileged" district where the parents have more money than sense and buy a 16 year old a new sports car....and a cell phone 
Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck. Then pretend to be someone else.
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Ya know fellas, I just don't understand all this animosity you folks are expressin' about the cagers out there??? Nope! Not AT ALL!!!  I guess I must just be one lucky S.O.B.!!! You see, I've NEVER seen any of these things happen around me that you guys are talkin' about here while I'M out there on the road!!!  (yep!!!...And here I've always just chalked that up to HOW HARD it is to acquire a drivers license in this fair land o' ours!!!)  
Last edited by Dwight; 06/15/2008 11:36 PM.
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 37
Greenhorn
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Greenhorn
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 37 |
Quote:
So it's DUMB to put Jesus stickers on your car there , Justin ? Gross generalization don't ya think ? Let's see ,"Jesus sticker" people are generally DUMB , SLOW , and drive old low-hp Geo Metro class vehicles . We'll let ya slide THIS time . Say that crap about Muslims or other ethnicities and see what gets incited .
Gross generalization is taking a very small sample and applying it to the entire group. Just today we were stuck behind a couple of Jesus sticker covered vehicles (a mini-van and an Exploder). Both were going well under the speed limit. So, from that experience and many previous others, I have to say that I didn't make a gross generalization. Maybe it's different in other parts of the country. In fact, speeding Jesus freaks would make more sense to me. If one knew that they're going to Heaven and bask in God's glory anyway, wouldn't they take more chances?
I don't mind debates. I don't resort to flaming, e-battles, name calling, etc. Just a mature discussion. When a thread pops up about muslims, hindus, etc that I feel that I may have something to contribute, I won't be afraid to do so.
Anyway, back on topic.
This morning we also spotted a lady in a Durango on the cell phone being VERY expressive with BOTH hands. It wouldn't have been so bad if she didn't scare the crap out of a guy on a BMW by tailgating him.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me" Hunter S. Thompson
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Quote:
Anyway, back on topic.
This morning we also spotted a lady in a Durango on the cell phone being VERY expressive with BOTH hands. It wouldn't have been so bad if she didn't scare the crap out of a guy on a BMW by tailgating him.
Yeah but Justin, the question still remains....
What kind o' animal did this clueless woman have on HER bumper???
(from the sounds of it, it should'a maybe been the rear end of a HORSE!!!)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 225
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 225 |
How about the cager who wants your parking space so badly that they won't give you room to get out of it? Happens to me frequently. I walked back the other day and told this "lady" that if she didn't give me room to get out of the space that I would re-park and go shop some more. You know, I think I learned a couple of new words from her. (and I had over 20 years in the military) 
Yes! I am a Redneck. Any Problems?
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 948
3/4 Throttle
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3/4 Throttle
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 948 |
The other day I was taking my bike to the dealer and my wife was following me. I was in the lane right up next to the center divider and I heard a siren and I started slowing down and pulling to the left looking for the siren. Just about that time a fire truck appeared to my right as he turned off the freeway onto the access road going my same direction. He hit his ****** horn/siren and I almost dismounted right then and there. The firemen in the back of the truck thought it was real funny. My wife thought I was really getting off the bike-while it was still moving about 30.
I would have showed them-I'd had bled all over them!
Last edited by redbike7; 06/16/2008 7:24 PM.
Redbike7
2006 America
No amount of skill can overcome gross stupidity. Ask me how I know...never mind, I forgot...
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 37
Greenhorn
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Greenhorn
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 37 |
Quote:
Quote:
Anyway, back on topic.
This morning we also spotted a lady in a Durango on the cell phone being VERY expressive with BOTH hands. It wouldn't have been so bad if she didn't scare the crap out of a guy on a BMW by tailgating him.
Yeah but Justin, the question still remains....
What kind o' animal did this clueless woman have on HER bumper???
(from the sounds of it, it should'a maybe been the rear end of a HORSE!!!)
Na, I was in the lane next to her.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me" Hunter S. Thompson
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 78
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 78 |
I got a new one today. Washing me with their windshield washer fluid. Not a drop hit the windshield, but I got a shower.
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,727 Likes: 5
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 10,727 Likes: 5 |
how 'bout the one who flicks a cigarette out the window and it hits you in the neck?
Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck. Then pretend to be someone else.
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 37
Greenhorn
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Greenhorn
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 37 |
Quote:
how 'bout the one who flicks a cigarette out the window and it hits you in the neck?
Tossin' butts out the window is a big no-no around here. Too much of a chance for wild fires with the dry sage.
$250-$2000 fine. 
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me" Hunter S. Thompson
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3
Old Hand
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OP
Old Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 8,639 Likes: 3 |
Quote:
how 'bout the one who flicks a cigarette out the window and it hits you in the neck?
What's really bad is when it goes down the front of your jacket!
'Long time ago before A/C became so popular, I used to know a guy who was really good at catching butts and tossing them back into the window they came from.
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,172
Saddle Sore
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Saddle Sore
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 5,172 |
Ciggy Butts??? That's minor... Try the guys in the pick-em-up trucks that spit tobaccy out the window.... Or try riding behind pipedr...
More flags
More fun!
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Re: dumb things cagers do
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,877
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,877 |
I almost got hit with an apple core once.
Benny
Black & Silver '02
Too many mods to list
Not enough miles ridden
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