Although technically not a single quote and technically not from today this is a classsic excerpt from The Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy (the ingenius book not the sh1t film):
So the barman said,
- Oh yes sir? Nice weather for it, - and started pulling pints.
He tried again.
- Going to watch the match this afternoon then?
Ford glanced round at him.
- No, no point, - he said, and looked back out of the window.
- What's that, foregone conclusion then you reckon sir? - said the
barman. - Arsenal without a chance?
- No, no, - said Ford, - it's just that the world's about to end.
- Oh yes sir, so you said, - said the barman, looking over his
glasses this time at Arthur. - Lucky escape for Arsenal if it did.
Ford looked back at him, genuinely surprised.
- No, not really, - he said. He frowned.
