Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge Quotes

I've got an idea for a good thread. Quotes from famous, infamous and just your day to day life...

I'll start with one:

Quote:

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During an office conversation
Guy in office: We used to call my Grandad Spiderman..
Me: Why?
Guy in office: Cos' he couldn't get out of the bath

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"The mind is like a parachute...
it won't work unless it's open."
-Frank Zappa

Huh?

Son,fat,drunk,and stupid is no way to go through life
-Dean Vernon Wormer

I need this parade like i need a hole in the head.

John F Kennedy, Dallas, November 1963

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing

Edmund Burke

What the **** was that bang.

Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945.

Scattered Showers my arrse.

Noah, a very long time ago.

Idiot, n.
A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. - Ambrose Bierce

I learned all I know from eating the brains of smart people.

I sold my car for gas money

One of my favorites
“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.”

John Wayne.

From the '08 GA rally;

"He11, she's wealthier than ten feet up a bull's @ss"
-Tracy (friend of Yota and BA.com)

Don't forget his other one,

"It's like tryin' ta stick a wet noodle up a wildcat's @ss."

I think I'm seeing a trend here.

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."

Last words of Union General John Sedgewick, American Civil War,
just before a Confederate sniper proved him wrong.

"You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead"

~~Oliver Hardy

time flies like the wind, but fruit-flies like bananas

Watch out! You'll have someones eye out with that mate!

King Harold, 1066, Just before lunchtime

It can't rain like this all day


Several people in Dent on Sunday!

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.'
- Oscar Wilde

'Go fetch me the hatchet, Lizzie! And be quick about it!!'

Elizabeth Borden's father

Quote:

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It can't rain like this all day

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Sure same thing was going through Noah's mind...

"Son, Don't point that thing at me!"

- Dad's last words

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

Racer brown:
"The only substitute for cubic inches is more cubic inches". (1954, about the time he gave up on flathead Ford engines and went shopping for a 331 Chrysler Hemi)

"If some is good, a whole lot's better and too much is just right!" (when mixing nitromethane and methanol)

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky - try to take over the world!

"It happens sometimes. People just explode . . . natural causes"
Agent Rogersz ~ Repo-Man

If there is one thing the past can teach you it's that predicting the future is a mugs game. Classic quotes of how incredibly wrong people can be:

"The horse is here to stay but the automobile is only a novelty—a fad." – The president of the Michigan Savings Bank advising Henry Ford's lawyer not to invest in the Ford Motor Co., 1903.

Good old barking mad Lord Kelvin, wrong about most things except temperature:

"X-rays will prove to be a hoax." – Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society, 1883.

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." – Lord Kelvin, British mathematician and physicist, president of the British Royal Society, 1895.

"Radio has no future." – Lord Kelvin, Scottish mathematician and physicist, former president of the Royal Society, 1897.

"There is nothing new to be discovered in physics now; All that remains is more and more precise measurement." – Lord Kelvin, speaking to the British Association for the Advancement of Science, 1900.



"Who the ****** wants to hear actors talk?" – H. M. Warner, co-founder of Warner Brothers, 1927 on the future of cinema with sound.

"A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth's atmosphere." – New York Times, 1936.

"Television won't last because people will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night." – Darryl Zanuck, movie producer, 20th Century Fox, 1946.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." – Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corportation (DEC), maker of big business minicomputers, arguing against the PC in 1977.

(Bill Gates also said something about not being able to imagine anyone ever wanting more than 64k on a computer for home use but I cant remember where I read the quote)

"Space travel is bunk." – Sir Harold Spencer Jones, Astronomer Royal (UK), 1957 (two weeks later Sputnik orbited the Earth).

"We are probably nearing the limit of all we can know about astronomy." – Simon Newcomb, Canadian-born American astronomer, 1888.


My personal favorite:

"Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote." – Grover Cleveland, U.S. President, 1905.

"Alcohol is the cause of and solution to all of life's problems" Homer Simpson

Bill Hicks said:

All matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves... Heeere's Tom with the weather.

Want to tie me up with your tie Tie???
Lacy Underalls~Caddy Shack

I have a pool...and a pond...the pond would be good for you.
Tie Webb~Caddy Shack

I know what you're thinking did he fire 5 shots or 6 shots????you know in all the confusion I forgot myself...so you've got to ask yourself "do I feel lucky?" well do you? Punk!

Harry Callahan

(Guess who?!?!?)

I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.

I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future.

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.

The future will be better tomorrow.

We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe.

We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.

Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.

What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame.

[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system.

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.

Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur.

For NASA, space is still a high priority.

Public speaking is very easy.

I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.

A Silicon Valley project manager:
"I want a list of all unforseeable problems."

Dale Arden:
"But, why would you want to destroy the earth?"
Ming the Merciless:
"Why not?"