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If something like that happened to me, I'd just move there (you know the Bakersfield motto Sun, Fun, Stay, Play).
Wow! You ARE...err...WERE a native out here, weren't ya?!
('cuz only a native Californian would remember that old sign sittin' along Hwy99, ya know) 
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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