Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge Living in a Police State !

The binmen come at 7 am on Friday morning so I put the trash out, including a load of bottles and cans for recycling, on Thursday night.

At about 2:45 am I suddenly remembered I hadn't done it. The light on the side of the house is not working and I forgot that I had put a big black bin bag out there yesterday.

As I was carrying a large box of bottles and cans out I tripped over the bin bag and dropped the lot and went, as we say in Brum a 'pi$$baller' into the gate. At which point my dog and all his neighbourhood pals set up the hue and cry !

Stifling my instincts to express my displeasure, I retired to the back yard to examine my scraped knee and elbow and triggered the security lights. When I looked down the side passage I saw that I had split the bin bag and there was a lot of trash all over the place I decided to go into the shed to get a broom and shovel to clean it up. as the security lights were on, I didn't bother to switch the shed light on.

After shovelling the trash into a new bin bag as quietly as I could, I opened my gate to take it out. I managed to get a couple of yards past the front of my garage before I was 'apprehended' I think is the parlance, and told to stand still or they would let the dog loose. I was aware of a cop who had somehow got behind me, I think he must have climbed over the fence, and a female cop with truncheon drawn at my side.

My neighbour is the 'Neighbourhood Watch' organiser and takes his job very seriously so as soon as he heard the commotion, he immediately called the West Midlands finest to investigate. Now it must be a slow crime night, or they know that there are two cops living in my street so the turnout was spectacular.

Can you imagine the reaction of my son who was now awake and observing the proceedings from his bedroom window, especially as he had gone through a Police radar speed check at 85 mph on his way home and had been complaining about it all evening !

I guess thats a good thing. Around here the dispatcher would have told the caller to go check it out and call us back.

I feel your pain , Michael , the Police can show up at the most INopportune times , and NOT show when you need them most .
One morning about 3:00 , I was SO sleepy driving , I pull up to a business parking lot next to the building in Macon , Ga . to take a quick nap , didn't know there was a burglary in progress , here comes all sorts of cops , sirens , lights , the works . I am lying down in the seat trying to elude the flashlight beams darting around . This didn't look good , wondered how I was going to explain what I was doing sitting in the getaway car . I was pinned down til the sun came up . Bad , bad timing .

Michael

You managed to get the cops out in the middle of the night?? Around here, if you phone to report an intruder, all they do is give you a crime number for the insurance!!

They must have been on orders to justify the huge hikes in budget that are causing council tax charges to go through the roof.

Working nights for the last 25 years or so, I have also had a few moments where I had to make noise after midnight. Having a neighbor lady who makes it her business to observe everyone else's business makes it interesting.

I have a row of 5 large pine trees at the back end of my yard. I purposely left the bottom branches on them to provide a bit of privacy as there is a short street behind my house that my driveway exits to, and directly across from it is where this lady lives.
Several years ago, I had a similar situation, winter snow, carrying the recycling can down my slanted driveway at 12:30 a.m., I slipped in the snow, sending bottles and cans and me flying in a cacaphony of clinking, tinking, and swearing.... dogs barked, porch lights came on, and in retrospect, I should have stood out in the road and exclaimed "I meant to do that" or something similar to diffuse the excitement...

The following night, returning home from work, my headlights caught a reflection from underneath my pine trees as I turned into my driveway. After parking my truck, I walked down to investigate and a local police officer emerged from his hiding place. He's the younger brother of a school friend of mine - a dweeb then and a dweeb now - only with a gun...
I asked him "WTF?". He said there had been reports of a prowler in the area last night...

I told him the prowler last night was me and showed him my ******-print in the snow.....

He looked quite dejected, probably because he knew they were going to demand he surrender his single bullet when he got back to the station.

Last night huh? talk about prompt.
I like the Barney fife reference
Brummie, bet you wont be so dedicated to get the trash out next time.
mike

Lancashire's finest would of turned up in the morning, and then said what was the problem.

Maybe the secret is having a cop who lives next door and one across the street. Many years ago, probably about 1980 when my wife was heavily pregnant and couldn't sleep, she woke me up in the early hours of the morning and said there were two men trying to break into the cops car on his drive.

I told her just to peep through the curtains and tell me what they were doing while I called the Police. When I got through, the dispatcher didn't seem that interested and told me to go and shout out of the window at them and they would probably run away.

I said that it was a pity I didn't have the blokes telephone number because I could call him and as he was a Policeman he would know what to do.

At that point the mood changed. He asked what my neighbour's name was and where he was based. Within 5 mins there was a minibus with 12 cops in, three squad cars including a Traffic car, a dog van and two unmarked cars each with two plain cloths cops.

By that time the blokes had given up and calmly walked off. The cops asked for a description and which way they went and set out to search the district. They hammered on the neighbours door and called his phone but they couldn't raise any of the 4 occupants. The first my neighbour new about it was when he got in his car in the morning and noticed the sun roof was damaged.

If he hadn't been a cop, I doubt very much if they would have bothered. If there is any bother in the street these days, the first thing I would do is link it to one of the cops property to guarantee a turnout

Now admit it you had just changed from being dressed in a white shell suit wearing a burberry baseball hat perched at a jaunty angle. If you had kept those special protective clothes on the police would never have come near you.

Had they done so you could have claimed that you were a victim of abuse because a teacher once upon a time dared to suggest that you were being rude / cheeky / lazy take your pick.

A free safari holiday or family break could have been yours.

When I lived in a courtyard in Hollywood, someone went about cutting tires. The next morning, there was a cop out taking reports. Someone said, "I saw someone messing with this car, then a hissing sound, then he went into that apartment over in the corner."
The cop immediately stuck his notepad in his pocket, turned and walked briskly away from the apartment. Maybe they should have said they saw him take in a box of stolen donuts?

Occasionally you find a good one. About 25 years ago at the scene of my last motorcycle accident the officer asked me if I had been drinking, then before I could answer he says he can see that I am still disoriented and could he come by the house tomorrow and interview me.