The binmen come at 7 am on Friday morning so I put the trash out, including a load of bottles and cans for recycling, on Thursday night.
At about 2:45 am I suddenly remembered I hadn't done it. The light on the side of the house is not working and I forgot that I had put a big black bin bag out there yesterday.
As I was carrying a large box of bottles and cans out I tripped over the bin bag and dropped the lot and went, as we say in Brum a 'pi$$baller' into the gate. At which point my dog and all his neighbourhood pals set up the hue and cry !
Stifling my instincts to express my displeasure, I retired to the back yard to examine my scraped knee and elbow and triggered the security lights. When I looked down the side passage I saw that I had split the bin bag and there was a lot of trash all over the place I decided to go into the shed to get a broom and shovel to clean it up. as the security lights were on, I didn't bother to switch the shed light on.
After shovelling the trash into a new bin bag as quietly as I could, I opened my gate to take it out. I managed to get a couple of yards past the front of my garage before I was 'apprehended' I think is the parlance, and told to stand still or they would let the dog loose. I was aware of a cop who had somehow got behind me, I think he must have climbed over the fence, and a female cop with truncheon drawn at my side.
My neighbour is the 'Neighbourhood Watch' organiser and takes his job very seriously so as soon as he heard the commotion, he immediately called the West Midlands finest to investigate. Now it must be a slow crime night, or they know that there are two cops living in my street so the turnout was spectacular.
Can you imagine the reaction of my son who was now awake and observing the proceedings from his bedroom window, especially as he had gone through a Police radar speed check at 85 mph on his way home and had been complaining about it all evening !
