Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge Does your wife do this?

And YES...She DOES do that (for me)....She's the greatest...

Dude, I know you don't know me but please consider the following. If you can use it then use it. If you can't then lose it. But if momma ain't happy, nobody's happy. Need to figure out what she wants that she's not gettin'. Women need to feel secure. This may or may not be related money problems. Try listening to her. This may or may not include your ears. All this business with your job and new business is probably taking its tole on her as well. Communication is key in any relationship. I'm sure you already realize this but women don't communicate the same way us dudes do. There is the challenge or root to our frustration. I recently rewatched "What Planet are You From?", Garry Shandling. Funny movie full of insight on the female psychi. I hope this helps.

Even though it's funny, there's a lot of truth in this:


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

You want = You want

We need = I want

It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don’t want you to.

I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!

You’re ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You’re certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I’m on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.

I’ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.]

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.

Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

All we’re going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

(The answer to "What’s wrong?")

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an as*hole

I don’t want to talk about it = Go away, I’m still building up steam

Bill hit the nail on the head.. 90% well ok 99% of them ring very true..

I can see you're going to be having a great Valentine's Day with your wife.

Ever thought about putting a lock on the door to your office? Nah, she'd probably hit the ceiling if you did that.

A couple of weeks ago my neighbor came over to borrow a wood chisel when I wasn't home. My wife gave him my best antique chisel that's worth $70, instead of the yellow handle Stanley I keep around just for times like this. Needless to say my wife won't be loaning out anymore of my tools after the tongue lashing I gave here when I got home.

We made up today. She knows how unhappy i was about the "misplacing" of my items. Some times I dont want to know what goes on in that head of hers. It has to be a scary place in there.

Do oyu know I just thought it was my Mrs who did things like that, the garage is one place I call my own and she's even moved stuff around in there tools I cannot find a chest freezer (did that used to be in the kitchen) satnav for the car, she put that somewhere good even she cannot find it.

And also, I have noticed I have odd socks on, what's going on with our wives these days

Rant over

ditch_dr, thanks for starting this thread. Very entertaining points of view from parts USA and parts World. I especially enjoyed the UNDERSTANDING WOMEN post from bigbill. After 29 years of marriage and 33 years with my same woman, I will email her the UNDERSTANDING WOMEN diatribe to her tomorrow for V-Day! Actually, that'll be the best thing she's gotten from me on recent 2/14's because she knows how much I despise V-Day. I don't need a day to be told I love her and forced to buy her something. There's 364 other days for that...

Just My Humble Opinion.

Hey DD, we are out to get you all!!!!!! Keep them (husbands) confused. Once you figure us out, it's not fun anymore. Life is supposed to be a challenge. Just remember, if she put it away on purpose, she knows where it is.