 Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,459 Likes: 1
Learned Hand
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OP
Learned Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,459 Likes: 1 |
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour
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Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male popula tion? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ...
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal .
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
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Re: Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 48
Greenhorn
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Greenhorn
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 48 |
Yes, Australia is a country chock full of Smart Arses 
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Re: Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,060 Likes: 6
Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,060 Likes: 6 |
This is, without a doubt, some of the funniest stuff yet posted here!  Thanks Stephen!
Fidelis et Fortis
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Re: Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 300
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 300 |
some people are like slinkies, they serve no purpose, but, they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
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Re: Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5,616
Check Pants
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Check Pants
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 5,616 |
That makes me want to visit even more. Maybe Ill email the tourism board and ask them if I can bring my bike. 
SOLD: 07 Black BA, 39mm FCRs, TPUSA stage 1 head, TPUSA 813 cams, TPUSA 10.8:1 pistons, TTP #3 igniter, Specialty Spares Long Cannons, Tsukayu Hard Bags. 82HP/55tq
NEW: 19 Goldwing Tour DCT
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Re: Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2
Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 20,096 Likes: 2 |
Q: How the heck did an Irishman find such a downright HILARIOUS piece about Australian Tourism to download into this website? ( USA ) A: ??? 
Last edited by Dwight; 02/09/2008 10:04 PM.
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,164 Likes: 1
Should be Riding
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Should be Riding
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,164 Likes: 1 |
That is pretty darn funny!
Soren
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Re: Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 513
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 513 |
Lookin' forward to the hippo races. How do you get to Kings Cross?
Its more fun to be ridin'! I'm still ridin 
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Re: Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 66
Member
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Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 66 |
Quote:
How do you get to Kings Cross?
Kings Cross is the red light capital of Sydney. Is a must visit area for any tourists... lol 
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Re: Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,459 Likes: 1
Learned Hand
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OP
Learned Hand
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,459 Likes: 1 |
Quote:
Q: How the heck did an Irishman find such a downright HILARIOUS piece about Australian Tourism to download into this website? ( USA )
A: ???
I found it on another forum I frequent, for BSA motorcycles.
I guess its down to the British Empire for exporting motorcycles all over the world, and thats what ties us togeather.
Another one.
There was a famouse actor being interviewed on telly a couple of years ago (Can't remember who) He was filming in Oz. and decided to buy a pendant cricifix for his wife. the assistant enquired ( in Ozzy accent of course) Do you want a plane one? or one with a little bloke on?
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Re: Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,200 Likes: 1
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,200 Likes: 1 |
Quote:
How do you get to Kings Cross?
As far as I can recall, you can get a taxi, bus or even train, (if you don't feel like walking!!)
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Re: Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,362
Oil Expert
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Oil Expert
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 2,362 |
Quote:
How do you get to Kings Cross?
Drop out of school & run away from home at 15 years of age, then get hooked on heroin. The rest should be easy.
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Re: Australian Tourism questions .
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 594
Adjunct
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Adjunct
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 594 |
Quote:
How do you get to Kings Cross?
Practice??
SFC, US Army (Ret)
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