Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge May you NEVER have a jelly fish bad day!

This was an email I receive from a cousin tonight. It was too funny to delete, so I thought I would share it.

AmyLee


Are you having a jellyfish bad day?

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is
even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at
work ... think of this guy:

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail
he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 On FM dial
in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was s sponsoring a worst job Experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what
we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water
heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now
this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no
complaints. What I do, w hen I get to the bottom and start working, is take
the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole
suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt.


I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before
I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt
as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to
yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." Now whenever you
have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jelly fish bad day!

Sounds pretty painfull. Human pee will take the sting out as well as vodka.. During the peak monmths the ambulance located near the beaches will carry a half gallon of VO for such problems.. Man that had to hurt tho.

When I was 11 years old, my family went on vacation to Galveston, TX. Unfortunately, that year there was a really bad storm and all sorts of stuff was washed up on the beaches. We got there and there were thousands of blue colored sandwich-baggie-looking things washed up on the beach. Being land-locked individuals from Oklahoma, we had no idea what they were. So, being the little tosser that I was, I picked up the closest 3-foot piece of driftwood and started popping the baggies with much gusto. As I popped them, there was this 'juice' that sprayed out- and onto me. Well, after an hour or so, it was time to head back to the hotel we were staying in. During the drive I started feeling this burning all over my body. It got worse and worse and never let up. The only relief I received was when my Dad tossed me into the shower at the hotel, 50 minutes after leaving the beach, with me in serious misery from the incessant burning, and cranked up the cold water. Seems those Baggies were actually some type of jellyfish that had been blown up on the beach during the storms.

Life is good.

Remind me sometime to tell you about the day I got stung 26 times by hornets while fishing in Arkansas..

Man , I'm gettin' kinda ITCHY .

About 2 weeks before I left 911 to go fly I was on medic 11. The beach truck. Man we had it maid, women half dressed, sun and nice wind blowing through the station, endless beach music at night.. Yeah sounds good right? NOT, I ran my butt off the entire time I was there.. I remember one jelly fish sting that pops out in my mind. Young guy aobut 16 or 17 was visiting from TN, he want swimming when he felt a pinch followed severe burning in his groin.. 911 was called we showed up to find the youg man sitting on the side walk screaming in pain while ice water was poured on his stuff.. me being the kind hearted soul I am, I wait to exam the area of pain untill were in the ambulance. I cut his shorts off and his boys were swelled up the size of grape fruits.. Seems a jelly tentical(sp) went up his shorts and got him on one of the boys..

I felt so bad for him.

A guy was fishing off the coast of Mexico. He wasn't catching anything and decided that he needed to change his tackle. When he bit off the end of the fishing line to attach a different lure, he found out rather dramatically that his line had come up through a school of jellyfish. He had heard that alcohol neutralizes jellyfish toxin, so he broke out a bottle of old muleshoe and, after several liberal applications, he was feeling no pain.

At least, that's what he told his wife when he got back to shore...

when a teen-ager i found a low-hung hornet nest. is was so big and pretty that i just had to have it. me and another fool decided we'd slip up on it at night,, put a cork in it,, put in the freezer for about a week.weeellll,, there is ALWAYS a sentinel at the entrance of a hornets nest,,,,,,,