Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge FW: WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress -$5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time!

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

"Aw, muffin, do ya need a hug?"

Your last name stays put.
Try getting people to spell it correctly.

The garage is all yours.
Now if I could just keep it organized.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.
But the bill doesn't.

Chocolate is just another snack.
Not true it also serves as a gift, distraction and bribery.

You can be President.
Only an idiot would want that job.

You can never be pregnant.
A nurse told me that having a kidney stone hurts just as much and I've had one of those, so does that count?

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
So why does it always end up being a Led Zeppellin one?

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Doesn't always make it right.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.
Not true, you just have to know what they are talking about.

The world is your urinal.
Okay I admit that is convenient.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
See above.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Until you come across the wayward left-handed thread.

Same work, more pay.
I need a job right now.

Wrinkles add character.
...and they add wrinkles.

Wedding dress -$5000. Tux rental-$100.
Did I mention the bill part?

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
That's because there is nothing there, what's the point?

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Oh! Have I got stories!

One mood all the time!
Wrong!!! That mood changes to the other one when we are drunk.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
Unless you are calling a service centre.

You know stuff about tanks.
That is cool isn't it? What do you want to know?

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
So why do we end up carrying three?

You can open all your own jars.
You do know how we get strong hands right?

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Oh it's no problem, I'm enjoying writing this out.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Water under the bridge.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
...and they've got four sides.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
With or without counting motorcycle boots?

You almost never have strap problems in public.
Ever have an itch or get sweaty?

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Clothes wrinkle? Huh.

Everything on your face stays its original color.
This one I just don't understand.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
Suuurrrrre, if you have hair.

You only have to shave your face and neck.
...and face and face and face and face.

You can play with toys all your life.
I can't say what I want here, this is a family-oriented site.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
Is this like the face colour changing thing? Cause I still don't get that.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
...and they don't have to match the tan on your face. Hey! Colour on my face. I get it! I get it!

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You mean like clean them and stuff right? Or is there something else we can do with them? Like cut off a piece and then fling it and kill a man. Yeah!!

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Not all mustaches are created equal.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
Sometimes on December 26.

Unfortunately our life is run, almost entirely, by the driving force behind "the world is your urinal" line. And while we can take full control of that situation,it can become a lonely experience. Likened to pulling up to the self serve island.
Thank God for motorcycles.

Well put Wojo!

Wojo.....

Men carry the 3 suitcases (2 of the 3 being mine- well, and ok, I've probably taken some of the guy's stuff out of his while he was off looking at the flight reservations- to make room for one more outfit and shoes for ME...) so we can run around looking for non-icky bathrooms in the airport.

Well, I for one certainly hope "somebody" comes back from their sea cruise in a little better mood, and won't feel the need to start some sort of GENDER WAR around here!


(look lady...we seem to have enough hurt feelings around here lately AS IT IS, every single time somebody here starts a friggin' HARLEY THREAD, ya know???!!!)

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every single time somebody here starts a friggin' HARLEY THREAD

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Hey, is it proper etiquette to p*** off someone with a new Harley posting or is it ok to p*** them off by re-posting to an old thread?

Hmmmmm! I'm not sure about that, Barry. Maybe we should get a ruling on this from Phil...or maybe...Leticia Baldridge.


(though I doubt she'd have the definitive answer to the "re-posting" question, it sure appears that THAT'S a touchy subject for our Administrator around here, huh?!)

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(though I doubt she'd have the definitive answer to the "re-posting" question, it sure appears that THAT'S a touchy subject for our Administrator around here, huh?!)

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Careful, Dwight - I think that's been posted before!

REALLY???!!! Nooooo!!!!

Now I'M depressed!!!

(well...there goes your theory here, Paula!!!)

I gotta say it was kinda funny when I went into walmart yesterday to get oil and an oil filter for my car. The guy at the checkout just looks at me and goes "how liberating! a lady that changes her own oil!" I couldn't help it...he deserved my smarta** response ..."yea I ride my own motorcycle too...what do ya think of that!?"

Well Mikkell, I'm figurin' if the doofus would'a said somethin' like "You GO, Girl!" instead, you might'a not jumped in his stuff, RIGHT?!

I'm diggin this gender word banter, almost as much as the Hardley banter!

If there ever was a time for a Group Hug ...................

Well put but you've got more things to play with....

You lot have it nice really, a wood seat warms up a lot faster than icy hands.

I can't find it now, but someone sent me a schematic entitled something like "Men and Women Shop For Jeans at The Gap."
The schematic shows a layout of a mall map. The blue line (man) goes into the mall and goes straight to the Gap. The pink line (woman) goes into the mall, goes in and out of EVERY store, EXCEPT the Gap, and then leaves the mall.

Yes, and we know we are entitled to change our minds!
And often!
Mary

You forgot the most important one. Selective hearing.
When a woman starts to blather on the usual response is " I'm sorry where you talking to me."

Y'know this thread could easily be renamed "Why men will never understand women".

watch out guys,,,, THIS IS A REALLY SMART WOMAN!!!!!!!she's got us pegged, and and did'nt leave off too much!!!!

Fallback option let eyes lower to chest while debating who has it harder and just smile. I am a simple man.

I have a hard time hearing if there is a lot of back ground noise, like the tv, or radio etc etc.. Comes from to many years of listening ot the siren going down the road. Sometime I use it to my advantage.