Well if you absolutely have to know here is a decription of my first ride of 2008.
Woke up yesterday and realized that it was a perfect day to ride my trusty steed. So i pulled my nice shiney black Ford F150 Superduty Turbo Nutter Harley Davidson edition with the shiny chrome spinners truck out of the heated garage and parked her on the front underground heated driveway. Then i went in for a nice refreshing cup of tea.
THEN, i went into the garden to my rear temputrure controlled trailor garage and pulled out my ac/heated four wheeled three bike trailor and using my JD Tractor towed her to my front underground hearted driveway. Then i went in for a nice refreshing cup of tea.
Then putting on my finest white rubber gloves i pushed my HD Fat Person bike out of its tempature controlled oxygen tank and very carefully pushed it into the pre-heated trailor and tied her down. Then i went in for a refreshing cup of tea.
Then, after consulting with the Weather Channel on my computer i entered the grid coordinates for my intended destination into my GPS system and after realizing that this trip was going to take the best part of 15 minutes i decided to have a refreshing cup of tea.
After my tea, i called all my riding buddies and checked that they were all ready. Billy Bub said he would be late as he was filling up the winnabago with gas, and Jim Bob was having difficulty deciding which dew rag to wear. I wish HD would stick to one color of dew rag. It does make it difficult to decide when there are 227 different shades of HD Black to pick from.
Anyway, on with my trip. With Stepponwolf blasting out of my Bose 38 Speaker Quad in-truck stereo system i headed out onto the open road. And 3 minutes ahead of schedule i pulled up outside my local hooters ready for the annual bike lunch afternoon ride. Shortly after Billy Bub drew up with his trailor in tow. I do wish he would get it color coded to match the winnabago. His dayglo orange 'bago just looks wrong with the C-Rod silver trailor. Got a cell phone call from Jim Bob, he is so confused and flustered over what dew rag to wear that his blood pressure is up again and so he wont be comming. I do feel sorry for Jim Bob, that's the second year in a row that he has missed this ride. I will check in with him on the way home, he sounds very down and im worried that he may hit the hard stuff this afternoon. That Folgers superdark plays havoc with his heartburn.
Well before we get the bikes out i pulled out my HD flask for a refreshing cup of tea.
2.30 time to get the bikes out. Again, wearing my finest white rubber gloves i carefully untied my gleaming pink Fat Person from the trailor and very carefully backed her out of the trailor and parked her in front of the Hooters front door. Being sure to put my metal foot plate under the side stand. We dont want a repeat of last years incident when Mary Lou's 1200 Hipster sank into the soft verge and it took four guys and a backhoe get it back on its wheels.
Anyway, bikes in place its time to put on the safety gear. But first. A refreshing cup of tea.
Whoooeeee, helmet on, shades on, denim cut off on, its time to start the bikes up. Billy Bub went first. Oh man, i swear that thing has got louder since last year. What a glorious sound. The people in the office block across the street were all at their windows gawking at our rides and the sound of Billy Bubs bike. They were trying to shout something at us but we could not hear. I hate triple glazed office blocks.
Then it was my turn. Oh the humiliaion, it wont start. Im am so distressed. This is so heart breaking. Ive been waiting a whole year for this moment and nothing. Not even a pop and a bang. Dead Battery. Billy Bub reved his bike up a few more times while i pushed my Fat B1tch back into the trailor, no need for my dissapointment to ruin his ride.
After a refreshing cup of tea it was time to go home. only 365 days till we do this again and i have promised my self this time i will charge the battery before i set off.
