"Take away all luxuries. Those are privileges for being a responsible member of a family."
Second that...mine's just turning 15, though he lives with his grandparents, but he's pretty decent so far.
On the other hand I do remember when I was that age, I thought I was billy
bada@@. Dad (who was a pretty big guy anyway) whaled the ****** out of me on occasion, and I figured I'd stand up to it and show him what a man I was. Never really worked out for either of us.
So one day he decides he's going to run the house like a DI. I got woken up at 6 am - my "snooze alarm" was him whacking me with his crutch (he was an amputee) til I got up. I had exactly five minutes to eat breakfast or he'd dump it down the disposal. Anything not absolutely required for me to function was taken out of my room and tossed. "Consequences" was the operative word. Come home a minute late, and I better hope the porch is comfy to sleep on.
One of the things I remember most was the time I was standing in the kitchen and smarting off - he didn't say a word so I kept it up...right until the second he dumped a gallon pitcher of ice water over my head. I stood there shocked and he calmly filled it up again and dumped it again.
Shock and humiliation...he SHOULD have been a DI, that's the same kind of stuff I saw in Basic.
Also when I WASN'T being a total
a@@, he treated me like an equal.
Again, the same sort of thing I saw in Basic later on - get treated like a worthless simpleton when you're wrong, get respect when you do it right.
The funny thing is, I'll bet his tough act is just looking for your respect...without him knowing that's what it is, of course.
Good luck!