It's been pretty well said here but let me reiterate a few things.
Drug test.
Now.
You have to rule it out or know if that's part of the problem.
Counseling.
For all of you.
Most states and many employers can refer you to a family counseling program that will charge based on your ability to pay.
There's a thing called "tough love". I think it's called that because you have to be tough to enforce it.
The gist of it is to let him see and suffer the consequences of his actions.
When he hits his mom or sister, have him arrested. That's assault and battery.
Take away all luxuries. Those are privileges for being a responsible member of a family.
One pair of shoes, you pick. Two sets of clothes, one to wear while the other is washing. etc.
If he stays out after curfew, he stays out and is reported as runaway.
I have three kids. The oldest, now 24, was the problem. We had to use many of the tough love methods with her.
Three years ago she gave me a hand printed, framed essay about the power of parents who are able to handle these trying times.
It's a Christian themed essay, so I'll abide by the AUP.
One last piece of advice that was given to me while dealing with my defiant child:
"If you always do what you've always done.
You'll always get what you've always got."
