 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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The "Rules for Southern livin" are as follows!!!
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup
truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to
us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and
south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $70,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton
pickers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try to
understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL
shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear
at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's
available at the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
age.
"Speedmaster" is a title not a name, - and the title is not plural.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Learned Hand
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Amen.
We also say
1. "yes sir" and "yes mam", as well as thank you and you're welcome.
2. Political correctness is not necessary. Politeness is.
2002 Bandit 1200/ GSXR cams/ 1277 BB Kit/ Holeshot header and can/ 38mm flatslides/ a good head/lotsa hp/lotsa tq- lots of rear tires...
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Hey Bikerthug, you are about as far from the south as you can get. How did you become so wise. 
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Yup, I was thinkin' the same thing, alabama al.
SteveB
"I live the life I love and I love the life I live."
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Saddle Sore
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Saddle Sore
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And we say grace and we say Ma’am And if you ain’t into that we don’t give a dam Thanks, to Hank Jr and his daddy too 
Last edited by mikemm03; 10/06/2007 5:14 PM.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
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Quote:
Amen.2. Political correctness is not necessary. Politeness is.
Sometimes we get accused of being "politically correct" when actually its just that our parents taught us manners.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
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Quote:
Amen.
We also say
1. "yes sir" and "yes mam", as well as thank you and you're welcome.
2. Political correctness is not necessary. Politeness is.
Except when it comes to Yankees or foreigners.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Actually there are 11 rules. I learned the eleventh when I moved to the south because of my job. "Southerners will shake your hand in church on Sunday and stab you in the back at the office on Monday"
'06 America, Raask foot controls, the bike use to be Graphite and Silver, now its Red and Black.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
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Quote:
Actually there are 11 rules. I learned the eleventh when I moved to the south because of my job. "Southerners will shake your hand in church on Sunday and stab you in the back at the office on Monday"
You think that only happens in the south....
Learning from my mistakes... again and again.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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I've lived all over the US and it has only happened in the south.
'06 America, Raask foot controls, the bike use to be Graphite and Silver, now its Red and Black.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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The forum here at bonneville america probably isn't the place for this subject.
'06 America, Raask foot controls, the bike use to be Graphite and Silver, now its Red and Black.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Big Bore
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Big Bore
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"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity" - Robert Heinlein
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
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Agree with everything here(most of 'em are pretty universal, in my book), however, I'd like to add a little to Number 10, if you guys don't mind.
You're leaving the store(the 7-11 let's say), and as you swing the door out you spot somebody within say 5 feet of the door walking towards it in order to enter the store, and you hold it open for them, they say "thank you", and you say "you're welcome".
Oh, and this policy should be practiced equally by both the ladies out there who are leaving the store as well the gentlemen.
(now THAT'S called common courtesy....y'all)
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Loquacious
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Loquacious
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Mark, You've been peeking! Anyone who disagrees is an idiot. Welcome to Alabama, now go home.  And this is a perfect place to post this message. BA.com is not a shrine - just a place for us to talk.  Now, watch this thread get locked.
Ride Safe,
Dennis
Triumph, it's how I live and what I ride.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Phil,
I put this thread up to introduce a little levity. So often, up here in the north, the folks just mock "Southern-hayseed-hicks" unmercifully. When, if the truth be told, these elite-effete-snobs up here in the north are big when it comes to knowledge nobody will ever use, - yet they lack common courtesy. They scorn people that go to church, while the only way they can find personal peace is to eat Prozac.
I say that as a Yankee myself.
I think Southerners might have more brains than most people realize.
"Speedmaster" is a title not a name, - and the title is not plural.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Oil Expert
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... and "y'all" wonder why foreigners think americans are weird. You're all from the same country, and the civil war was almost 150 years ago. Get over it.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
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Quote:
... and "y'all" wonder why foreigners think americans are weird. You're all from the same country, and the civil war was almost 150 years ago. Get over it.
That's very good, Matt! You, an Aussie, knowin' when the American Civil War was fought.
I'll lay ya even odds that half of the americans here regardless of if they're north of the ol' Mason-Dixon Line OR south of it would know THAT piece of history anymore!!!!
Wonderful education system we have here nowdays, ya know...both north AND south, that is!!!
You see, you're sort'a wrong in a way, Mate. That's the ONE THING holdin' us all together in the Good Ol' U.S. of A...Ignorance! Or maybe it's apathy! That runs a close second around here too, ya know.
(but I'm SURE you folks down-under have your share of these two things too, RIGHT?!)
Last edited by Dwight; 10/07/2007 12:51 AM.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
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http://youtube.com/watch?v=M3H6szqauvg(Warning: the comments on the YouTube page might be offensive to you. Proceed with caution.)
Last edited by FriarJohn; 10/07/2007 1:24 AM.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Quote:
... and "y'all" wonder why foreigners think americans are weird. You're all from the same country, and the civil war was almost 150 years ago. Get over it.
And yet there are those in some parts of the South that haven't ended it yet...
From what I've found, that "Suth'n livin'" only happens in country South - in the city it's pretty much the same as any other city north of the MD or west of the Miss.
SFC, US Army (Ret)
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
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I have to say that between that guttural brit-talk and those twangy southern drawls in that video, I could barely understand what ALL those twits in that video were saying!!! 
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Big Bore
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Big Bore
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I am responding to the thread and not you Eric
My initial response was to Bruce, as in 'yes, here is not the place'.
Dwight, why is your 'USA glass' always half empty??
(There is a definitive cynicism to your bashing, else I would not mention it....)
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity" - Robert Heinlein
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
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"Lighten up, Francis."
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Well, to steer this back on track, I was thinking that most (well, a few) of those items apply to Montana and Wyoming, too, not just the south.
Last edited by FriarJohn; 10/07/2007 1:40 AM.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
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Come on Phil! You HAVE to know that most of my crap is just that...CRAP. Crap to spur conversation and maybe exchange a few inconsequential ideas. In this case, it was a way to emphasize to Matt that Humankind (HEY! how's THAT for PC-talk, huh?! HUMANkind! ) all over the world are basically pretty clueless, and that we should NEVER take ourselves THAT seriously!!!!!! BUT, if you REALLY want to know why it may seem I especially "like" to denigrate americans....it's because WE have ALL the advantages in the world to be INFORMED in this country and it seems most of us don't take advantage of these opportunities here in the Good Ol' U.S. of A!!!(BTW...a country which I LOVE and of which I know I'm lucky to be a citizen) (that's why it MAY seem that way, Phil)
Last edited by Dwight; 10/07/2007 2:18 AM.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Fe Butt
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Fe Butt
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Now if you'll excuse me, I see that the old "Hottest Actress" thread is back, and once again I'm gonna push my theory on that sucker that AVA GARDNER was the hottest babe of ALL TIME!!!
BYE!!!
Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
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As sad as that viedo was, it still holds a lot of truth for some of the deep south.. The real funny part was the lady who ran the gas station caused all the trouble. I have a feeling she has stood in front of more then one trailer home tell the news lady what the tornado sounded like.
Dont like what you see??? Big red X in the top right of your screen will fix it!
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
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Just let me clear up I am a southern gentelman ( or how ever its spelled) I treat everyone with respect, I dont judge people befor I know them ( I assume all are stupid until they prove it so lol) I honor my hertage but I am not a gun toting, rebel flag waving,uneducated hill billy.. I cant speak for all but I would have just laughed if I would have seen those cars pull into a gas station here.
Dont like what you see??? Big red X in the top right of your screen will fix it!
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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What a bunch of crap. I'm from Mississippi, and we could care less how you wear your hat or pants and I've never seen anything close to a lexus on a gravel road and i've never seen anyone bring a cell phone to a dove hunt and I've never met anyone who has complained about crawfish or catfish. I've also never heard of the "opener." do some research before you start stereotyping us!
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Quote:
... and "y'all" wonder why foreigners think americans are weird. You're all from the same country, and the civil war was almost 150 years ago. Get over it.
Is "y'all" funny to you? Maybe you should take a look at your own island of criminals before you start talking smack about a nation of free citizens; not subjects.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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It used to be like that in Nth. Queensland up to 20 years ago, how I lament the passing of simple plain manners, respect, and being able to help a mate without having to explain that you dont want any reward for you trouble.
It's a pity that Americans are sterotyped by the characters in movies, I've got a few mates from the States and I reckon there a mighty fine bunch of blokes
2x Norton Commando Roadsters
08 Triumph America
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
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Quote:
Just let me clear up I am a southern gentelman ( or how ever its spelled) I treat everyone with respect, I dont judge people befor I know them ( I assume all are stupid until they prove it so lol) I honor my heritage but I am not a gun toting, rebel flag waving,uneducated hill billy.
+1
I do, however, wish my neighbors would actually learn their own history prior to spouting the heritage chant.
BTW BT, the fabled Mason-Dixon line doesn't extend past the Ohio river, you westerners don't qualify as Yankees, no matter how far north you are
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Oil Expert
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Quote:
]Is "y'all" funny to you? Maybe you should take a look at your own island of criminals before you start talking smack about a nation of free citizens; not subjects.
hehehe I was wondering how long it'd be before someone bit. Doesn't take much poking at that renowned US patriotism before someone takes it all seriously and gets upset. Always fun trying to guess who it'll be. 
Seriously, "yall" is funny (the word I mean) and I used to love stirring my mother in law up about using it. She's from MO but the more feisty she got the further south her accent went.
FYI Aussies aren't bothered by our convict past, in fact most of us are kinda proud of it in an off-beat way so that's a fairly useless taunt. Come here and we'll show you round all our convict built sites, and tell you all about how we became independent from the Brits without needing a war to do it.
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 Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Loquacious
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Loquacious
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Quote:
... and "y'all" wonder why foreigners think americans are weird. You're all from the same country, and the civil war was almost 150 years ago. Get over it.
Hey, who do you fight with more than your brother?
Actually, I think it's the more crowded the area, the worse manners from the people who live there.
Are you grumpier in traffic or on an open road?
It's probably the same all over the world.
Steelheart- '03 Speedmaster Black/Yellow
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Loquacious
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Loquacious
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Quote:
Come on Phil! You HAVE to know that most of my crap is just that...CRAP
Oh, he knows all right!
C'mon, you asked for that one Dwight!
"You can't believe everything you read on the internet" : William Shakespeare
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Saddle Sore
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Saddle Sore
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Come on guys have a beer. I thought Bikerthugs attempt at humour was just that, humorous. It's a joke, come on! When it gets to the point where you can't take a little funnin or laugh at yourself your probably taking yourself a little bit to serious. Was Bikerthugs funnys correct, some yes some no. Ever listen to Jeff Foxworthy! (you might be a redneck) I was born and raised in Knoxville,Tn. some 50 years ago. Here's a funny for you. I've been a New York Yankees fan all my dang life. I can't stand the Atlanta Braves. Ya wanta fight about it!
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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3/4 Throttle
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3/4 Throttle
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Maybe he was referring to a different part of the south. In some parts of Texas they let the schools out the first day of deer season. Personally I don't hunt deer anymore becuase I'm afraid I'd kill one and then have to go to all that work skinning and cutting it up.
If you've never seen a Lexus on dirt roads, you've never been in the oil patch. That's Trixie, who owns the land, just checking on things.
The pickup is the National Vehicle of Texas and is usally a working vehicle although there are some vanity vehicles with diesels and dual rear wheels that carry nothing heavier than a stack of credit cards. You can tell 'em becuase their tires aren't muddy.
I think BT was right on and funny.
Last edited by redbike7; 10/07/2007 12:01 PM.
Redbike7
2006 America
No amount of skill can overcome gross stupidity. Ask me how I know...never mind, I forgot...
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Mike is right on the money. In fact, I am pretty far from being that person which I humorously describe in the lead-off post. Truth be told, I am firmly planted in one of America's generic areas known as "suburbia" (see pic below).  So let's all just lighten up a bit. -BT
"Speedmaster" is a title not a name, - and the title is not plural.
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
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I thought it both funny and some points very true having seen my neighbors pasture cruising and checking the cows in their Lexuses (Lexi?). As for the ex-Boston, ex-Milwaukee Braves...that's just another overpaid group of specialists playing a little boys game for lots of money... BT, your grass is denser than the rest of the neighborhood, are you sneaking some special formula on to it? I mean, isn't there a generic turf competition in every suburban grouping? As you can see I don't have enough neighbors to know: 
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Old Hand
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Old Hand
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About number 3, I looked out the 'winder' 'jes' to make sure, and that is a gen-you-ine dirt road out front. In the last year, I've only seen one lexus go by. They had the doors locked and were looking skeert and lost.
Let's hope there's intelligent life somewhere in space 'cause it's buggar all down here. -- Monte Python
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Worn Saddle
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Worn Saddle
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True enough, you never see an "ain't skeered" decal in the back window of a Lexus...
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
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Re: 10 rules for "Southern livin."
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Learned Hand
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Learned Hand
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What is this Top Gear Show? I thought it was hilarious! An 'irony deficiency' , cracks me up! 
Warren
04 Caspian Blue and Silver America
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