I truly know how you feel and having felt it, I am so sorry anyone ever has to feel that way. Eventually you'll be able to reminisce about the joy you shared; for now it's best just to grieve with your family. My deepest sympathies, my friend.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
