A Diary Review: Moving South, 2007
May 30, 2007: Just moved to Knoxville, Tennessee from Chicago, Illinois.
Now, this is a city that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm
balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a park while lying
on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14, 2007: Really heating up. Got to 100 degrees today. Not a
problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a
sun worshipper.
June 30, 2007: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.
Lots of cactus and rocks. The yard is a breeze to maintain! No more mowing
the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love living in Nashville!
July 10, 2007: The temperature hasn't been below 100 degrees all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy,
but getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer than I expected.
July 15, 2007: Fell asleep by the pool and got 3rd degree burns over 60%
of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my
lesson, though. Got to respect the OLE sun in a climate like this.
July 20, 2007: Morgan (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather
upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles
and sh--. I learned my lesson, though. No more pets in this heat.
July 25, 2007: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!
And it's hot as he--! The home air-conditioner is on the Fritz, and the
AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order
the parts.
July 30, 2007: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
The monthly house payment is $1,500 and we can't even go inside.
Why did I ever come here?
August 4, 2007: It's 105 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed
today for a cost of $900. The temperature gets down to 78 degrees, but
this freaking humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95 degrees.
I hate this stupid city.
August 8, 2007: If another wise a-- person cracks, "Hot enough for you
today? I'm going to strangle him. da-- heat. By the time I get to work,
the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like
baked cat.
August 9, 2007: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts and
sat on the black leather seats in the ole car. I thought my a-- was on fire.
I lost two layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs.
Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried flesh and baked cat.
August 10, 2007: The weather report might as well be a recording.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do
anything for two months, and the weatherman says it might really
warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this desert? Water
rationing will be next, so I might as well watch $1,700 worth of cactus
just dry up and blow into the pool. Not even cactus can live in this
heat.
August 14, 2007: Welcome to he--!!! The temperature got to 105 degrees
today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of
the car. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"
My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.
Freaking South. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?
