 Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 117
Adjunct
|
OP
Adjunct
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 117 |
Some days I look back at a particular piece of my father's advice as I was growing up. It usually came after I or my brother had pulled some stunt, or if my mother had done something to really pluck his nerves. He'd say what he wanted to get off his chest, in whatever volume and tone he felt appropriate at the time, and when he was done, he'd give a hug, sigh, and on more than one occassion look me right in the eyes and say "Don't get married, Don't have kids".
I used to laugh it off.
Now I can't believe he's made it close to 40 years with one wife and 2 boys.
I'm thinking of having the phrase tattooed somewhere on me.
I woke this AM to find my helmets have been taken out of the house by my soon-to-be(but not soon enough) -ex wife. Chaps gone too with some smart-ast comment about how enjoyable they've been to wear. I was told they're being held until "the big meeting" with the lawyers and that they'll get returned.
At least I was smart enough to lock my 2 jackets up. They're now in the car.. with my boots and saddlebags and Speedy keys.
Yes I kept my cool, and will continue to, but I just needed to get this off my chest somewhere where someone would commiserate because I am NOT a happy camper at the moment.
Set the gearshift for the high gear of your soul...
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,540
Learned Hand
|
|
Learned Hand
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,540 |
Well at least she didn't attack the speedy with a hammer like that other poor guy on here. Evidently anger wife + hammer+ bike= mayhem, more often than I would think. This just popped up on NH clist. Maybe she is leaving this guy do to lack of spelling ability. Hammered sporty
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 348
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 348 |
When its over- then, listen to your daddy
G
I never wanted to lead, and I never wanted to follow.
I just wanted to ride.
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded *DELETED*
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
|
|
"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Post deleted by FriarJohn
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 117
Adjunct
|
|
OP
Adjunct
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 117 |
thanks for another reminder of that little story Dill...
It only runs through my head EVERY time I return to the house after any amount of time away these days.
Set the gearshift for the high gear of your soul...
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,540
Learned Hand
|
|
Learned Hand
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,540 |
Sorry man, I wasn't trying to cause more anguish.
You need a road trip bad. You making the trip up to NH for the rally?
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 117
Adjunct
|
|
OP
Adjunct
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 117 |
No sweat Dill. It reminded me to double check my insurance coverage. The insurance lady thought the hammer story was amusing. She said I'd be covered if there were a similar event here.
You're right. I DO need another road trip. My last one wasn't enough even though it was only a week ago.
Sadly I won't make the NH rally. Picked up some Virgin Festival tickets that weekend. Police, Beastie Boys etc. I do have the feeling that more long-distance round trips are in the future though. Something to do with found time and fewer responsibilities....
Set the gearshift for the high gear of your soul...
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,932 Likes: 2
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,932 Likes: 2 |
Keep your cool man. It may take a couple of years but everything will be just fine.
we should do this every weekend!
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 252
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 252 |
Quote:
If I had kids, Tom Leykis would be mandatory listening. For example:
- Don't get married or have kids before you're 25, preferably 30.
- Don't get married until you've achieved your dreams.
- Go to college and make something of yourself before "settling down" (if you must indeed settle down)
- There is no benefit to men to get married. There IS a benefit to women (the big pay off on divorce) and children. People often cite tax advantages but for the man this is more than wasted in extra money spent over the course of the marriage and the advantage much more obviated upon divorce.
People often try to say that he hates women but the real message is personal responsibility for men and women.
I don't know who Tom Leykis is, but he's full of it. Generalizations like that are just dumb.
I got married right out of college, at 22, and my wife dropped out to be a wife and mother.
The best dream you can have is a loving family, and you need to get married for that.
Being a husband and a father IS making something of yourself. It's making EVERYTHING of yourself.
No benefit to men? Now that's the dumbest thing yet. A loving wife and children for the long haul aren't a benefit?
Tax advantages? If you're getting married for tax advantages, you're truly screwed up.
Money wasted over the course of the marriage? What is the matter with you? Since when is money spent on family wasted?
If you go into a marriage planning for a divorce, you're likely to get your wish. You go into marriage planning a lifetime commitment, and then you work your a** off to make sure it happens.
After almost 38 years of happy marriage, I have absolutely no regrets. I'm with Skillet on this one.
And Cowboy now that I've read his reply.
Last edited by jcdarrin; 07/03/2007 2:12 PM.
He was fun while he lasted.
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,527
Loquacious
|
|
Loquacious
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,527 |
This Leykis guy is a prfessional pudknocker and it would be ill advised for anyone to take his counsel on any kind of relationship as "gospel"
Whatever marital problem or relationship problems anyone might run into .... each of them are unique and unfortunate at the same time. But this character (Leykis) is a poster child for bad things.
"Proud to be an Infidel" ... "100% pure American Jingoist"
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 386
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 386 |
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!!!! Next time, I'll just find a woman who can't stand me and buy her a house... 
Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs should just get used to that fact and relax
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 252
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 252 |
Quote:
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it!!!!
Sorry to get on a soapbox on this one, but this topic is important to me.
Understand this - divorce, by definition, is failure. One or the other or both. When you fail you don't quit. When you fail, you aren't proud of it.
I understand that sometimes it's necessary, even beneficial. My parents were divorced, my brother and sister are divorced, both my wife's brothers are divorced (one twice). My wife and I are the only ones in the family not divorced.
You get divorced if you have to, then you get on with your life. Taking hammers to motorcycles or following the advice of Tom Leykis are not the solution. They are the problem.
He was fun while he lasted.
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
|
|
"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
Quote:
You get divorced if you have to, then you get on with your life. Taking hammers to motorcycles or following the advice of Tom Leykis are not the solution. They are the problem.
Wait, you're saying that Leykis causes divorce? Nothing in what I quoted does that. Nothing he says on the radio does that. The problem is defined as such: 50% of all marriages, nationwide, fail. In California, 2/3 of all marriages fail. That tells me that people are rushing into marriage just a little too much. I'm happy to hear when people make it. That's great. But all too often I hear about some poor schlub getting taken to the cleaners by his wife and her predatory lawyer. Heck, at the drag races last Sunday I sat in front of two guys comparing notes on their divorces. It was pathetic and sad. One guy's was fairly amicable while the other guy was just getting raped. Oh yeah, that's worth it.
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 252
Adjunct
|
|
Adjunct
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 252 |
Quote:
Wait, you're saying that Leykis causes divorce?
Like I said - I don't know who Tom Leykis is, but if that's his message, then he's full of it. And listening to it is part of the problem because it reinforces the bs sterotypes.
Quote:
But all too often I hear about some poor schlub getting taken to the cleaners by his wife and her predatory lawyer.
And no man ever screwed a woman in a divorce?
I'm done with this thread. I come to this site to feel good, not to argue with untenable bs.
He was fun while he lasted.
|
|
|
Re: Fatherly Advice Unheeded
|
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825
"Lighten up, Francis."
|
|
"Lighten up, Francis."
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 18,825 |
That's fine. I tried to split off the thread and hosed it royally (and by hosed I mean some posts were inadvertantly deleted - sorry). May as well stop the off topic part here. While this discussion was not religion or politics it's just as impassioned. Best to leave it alone.
Update: the_reverend was cool with locking it. Please send him a PM if you wish to provide support during his ordeal.
Last edited by FriarJohn; 07/03/2007 3:35 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
