Since this is all hypothetical ANYWAY we are assuming you have no moral or legal conflicts preventing this exchange...just your good taste...
Paris: Please Uncle Phil let me make you "happy" orally (I'm CERTAIN she would choose different words...but the AUP forbids)
Phil: Um no thanks
Paris: Please I'm very good and after you can play "hide the salami"...anywhere you want...
Phil: [looking around to see who's watching] well OK!
