Bonneville America Forums Forums Off Topic Discussion Forums Lounge Buried A Friend

I guess the subject could be "Motorcycle Gangs".
I had a longtime friend die a couple days ago. We used to work and ride together 20-30 years back and he gave me a lot of flak about riding Triumphs, but he knew that's where my heart was, so he tolerated me.
I went to his funeral today, and parked behind all the HD Shovelheads that his gang rode. I felt dispondant, but no one said anything. I passed all the bikers wearing their colors with their ladies wearing matching vest with "Property of Gonzo" or "Pichou" or "Nasty" or "Waco".
My thought was, "How sad, that they would require that of a lover. The lady who adores you and gives herself to you then you reduce her to 'property'?" My God, if she is OWNED by you and wants out - you'd have to kill her. If you love someone, you've got to set them free. If they don't come back, then you hunt them down and kill them. I've seen these riders for years, but seldom on the road, usually parked at a bar.
I am so thankful that WE are about "The Ride". I loved attending the Rally in Georgia in May '06, and I'd have been there this year if I could. And I am thankful that Raynea is not my property, but the love of my life. She is a doll, and if it weren't for her and our 2 girls, I'd be a pile of dog mess in a watermelon patch.
I pledged to myself when I was a teenager to never wear colors. I don't even buy patches and stickers at rallies, that's gas money.
Back to my friend. He wasn't designed to be a member of this gang. His heart was pure but he was influenced by them so much that he suffered 3 divorces that he didn't want. His brother told me this afternoon that I had more influence on him than anyone in the family, because "Dennis goes his own way, and is comfortable with himself" (ring a bell?). Dick (my friend) looked bad, of course he was dead, but he never left the lifestyle and blew out his kidneys with drugs and alcohol.
Where am I going here? I don't really know. Just take care of yourself, let the people you love know that they are loved, and enjoy "THE RIDE".
God's Blessings!

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

I too can't imagine the mindset of "owning" my wife. We are with out a doubt a team. Without her I wouldn't be the man I am today.

Remember the good times you had together with your friend.
I hope he's in a better place, and has escaped his demons.

Sorry to hear about your friend.

I also don't understand the whole property thing. There isn't anything that I do in this life, that I don't first think, 'what would Leaha think?'. She's the center of my universe, and I wouldn't have it any other way. If anything, I would be the one wearing the 'Property of..' T

Andrew

Sorry about your friend Skillet,hardly anyone realizes how much peer pressure (even among adults) can affect a persons judgement on life decisions and lifestyle habits. Thats why (go your own way) means so much to some folks.


mike

I am so sorry for your loss Skillet. I truly can relate to how you are feeling right now. I lost my wonderful wife two years ago in a auto accident. She was my best friend, lover, mother of my son---but most definetly NOT my "property". We were married 32 years, she hated bikes. Was always afraid that if I had one I would get hurt----or worse. How ironic.

Just keep your head up, think of all the good times you had with your buddy and ignore the "attitude" of those other folks.

Paw.

So sorry about your friend. It should be of great comfort that his brother thought your influence was the greatest of all of his relationships. At least now every time you ride you know he's riding with you and that's what it's all about.

Dennis-
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Very special that he held you close to his heart as his brother described. We often never know the influence we have on another's spirit.

Here's a part of what I wrote, and then read, at the cookout we had in honor of my friend:

"I had been reading on Tuesday from a great book of prayers I have, 'Illuminata'- a section talks about how the Angel of Death is God's most tender, most merciful Angel, for it is present during our most fragile time, and teaches us not to fear what we humans think of as our final enemy. Death is not our enemy, because really there is no death, just a reorganization of energy 'according to higher assignments in a soul’s progression.' It talks about how the Angel of Death accompanies us to God's perfection with compassion. I now utterly know this to be true."

Sorry to hear about yout loss skillet. At least now he's at peace with the world.

Sorry to hear about your friend Dennis. We all know good people that for some reason or another get caught up in the "gang" mind set. That is a good thing about riding a Triumph. We seem to have a lone wolf mind set. Not that it's better, it's just not as easy to get caught up in someone else's ideas on how things should be. Your friend and his family are in my prayers. Ride safe and God bless.

Sorry about your friend Dennis.

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His brother told me this afternoon that I had more influence on him than anyone in the family, because "Dennis goes his own way, and is comfortable with himself"

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That pretty much sums up why we're here.
You really never know who will gain something from an example.

Thanks Dennis for sharing some of your experiences and reiterating some wise words. I believe they come from someone who has felt a deep loss and doesn't wish to see such waste again. All the best

Sorry your brother had to go this way. Not so many years ago I was there, riding outlaw. Things happened to me that saved my life and future with Robin, things that I wish would happen to all out there, and be a life changing happening that all could live thru. You showed him another side to life to think about, and he did respect that, but that outlaw life has a draw that is hard to turn away from. Sounds like he respected your life style, as a friend try to understand his choices, and the pull of the group.

Thanks to all of you. Losing a friend makes you wonder how you affected their life. Dick was a great guy, but I know now that I could have made more of a spiritual impact on his life. Many times, we'd stop for a beer and I'd leave after one. Don't know how many he'd have after I'd take off.
Just knowing that he died at 59 years old, made me realize that 1) he was too young, and 2)none of us are promised anything past our next breath.

Leonard,
The hundred times I must have passed the "Tehachapi" sign on I-5, I never got off. I wish I'd have experienced that area, but it was always after a recent gas stop. I rode with a couple wild outlaw groups in California, but the lifestyle would have killed me if I'd stayed with it. I promised myself back then to never fly colors. Even though I am slightly active in the CMA, I still don't wear their colors - but for a different reason. If I smoke a cigarette, exceed the speed limit, or drink a beer, I will be judged by unbelievers and become a stumblong block to them. I am a lone wolf rider, but love company. I don't have stickers on my helmet or patches on my leather - stickers cost gas money and the stitches make leather leak water.
I usually ride alone (most times with my bride) but I always welcome another rider, no matter what they ride. Scooters welcome. Dick Hyde (peterskin, to us pipefitters) was the same way. He loved his shovelhead, but secretly wanted my old Bonneville for his own. He just couldn't admit it.

That makes four. I've lost three good mates this month.. Radar ... managed to rap his bike round a truck, Hilda swerved to avoid an animal in the road & collided with an oncoming car, and she was just on the way home from a bike show. Say a few prayers for Tamsin (her daughter).
Claire just drank herself to death.. Her funeral is monday. leaves Jacob (7) and Jago, her partner.. more prayers please.

OMG what a way to introduce myself to the forum..

I'm not normally this negative but sometimes it just gets to me.

Sorry for your loss Dennis. I wish I had better words, my friend. BTW thanks again for the heat sheild. I have not got it on the bike yet. It seems something always get in the way.

Dave

Thanks for your thoughts, They're much appreciated. Radar didn't leave anyone, in some ways that's the worst, Tamsin is still riding - quote "I'll be buggered if that will stop me" - got to love her! we've got some fund raising things happening for Jacob shortly.

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"I'll be buggered if that will stop me" - got to love her!

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Tamsin sounds like my kinda girl! Ride on, little sister .

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we've got some fund raising things happening for Jacob shortly.

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That is noble. Try to stay in touch with the boy. He may need you sooner than you think.

Thanks Everyone.
Dave,
You are welcome. The heat shield will get put on soon. I was going to tack weld it with a heli-arc torch at about 35 amps to minimize damage to the surrounding chrome, and quench with an oily rag to cool it fast. But I was planning on new pipes soon, and others needed the shields.

BACK TO THE FUNERAL!!!
As soon as the service was over, it dawned on me that I was at the back of the funeral procession. I almost ran outside, jumped on my bike and headed for the gravesite about ten miles away. Dick's brother and another mutual friend who is a retired club member both asked me, "Why didn't you ride with the club in the procession?" I told them that I was not going to try to control my motorcycle in all that used Harley oil pouring from the shovelheads - there was about 80 of them. Not a new H-D in sight. So, after the funeral I was invited to a final toast for an old friend. I stopped by the "Oasis" for a quick mug with all the old hands, and we finished sending Dick to eternity.
I felt a little safer there since the parking area was gravel - the oil was soaked up a little better.

Paula,
Thanks for your words.

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Death is not our enemy, because really there is no death, just a reorganization of energy 'according to higher assignments in a soul’s progression.' It talks about how the Angel of Death accompanies us to God's perfection with compassion. I now utterly know this to be true."

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That goes with Ecclesiastes 3:10-12 (Amplified Bible)

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11He has made everything beautiful in its time. He also has planted eternity in men's hearts and minds

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I like reading the Amplified Bible (with care) after studying certain scriptures, because it squeezes every little bit of meaning from each word and makes you think.

I am sure Jennifer has some sort of deed on me.

May your friend rest in peace. It sounds like having you as a friend gave him some perspective in life.

Ride Safe
Ryan

Sorry to hear about your loss, a relationship should be 50/50 all the way. I like yourself probably would not have a bike if it wasn't for my wife..

Sorry about you're buddy. It always hurts when someone takes the next step in the journey.
My wife has shirt that says"beer ****** I judge a man by the beer he drinks" mine says (in classic Spoets type shirt) "property of the beer ******"
I'll be going to a wake & funeral this week for my good friend's long time girl friend who collasped & died in front of her MOM. She just wasn't feeling right & was complaining of pain in her lower chest she was just over 40. This one really hurts she was so kind & generous a joy to be around.

Sorry for your loss. It's extra sad when a person loves to ride, but gets taken out by doing stuff that interferes with that love. That's why I've cut back to a 24 pack in a year or more.

Oddly enough, my OL got herself a 'Property of' tattoo a couple years ago. She said that she figured that after 20 years together, she wouldn't be able to put up with anyone else anyway. For many, a property patch isn't so much a sign of ownership as a message saying, "Behave yourself around this person and treat her with proper respect because she's spoken for and you don't want her OM coming for you."

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Behave yourself around this person and treat her with proper respect because she's spoken for and you don't want her OM coming for you.

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Hey Greybeard,
I've known the meaning of that since I was 19. I was home on leave from the navy then, and still alive at 53.

Dennis,
Very sad story, sorry for your loss. Just goes to show you that you have to be careful who you pick as friends. He should have been out riding with you instead of those losers.

Greybeard,
My wife and I are each other's property for sure. I think 32 years and the bible will confirm that, but we ain't gonna tell nobody. If we did tattoos, we probably would. She's the second pattie on my double cheesburger, and I'm a couple fries short of a happy meal.
I wonder if Raynea's next husband would mind?
I say that because the women in her family live into their 90s, where my male ancestors have a history of "going over" in their 60s.