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I see only one solution to all this, and that is...

I need to go spank Kim Basinger



And when you're done LJ...I'll go console her.

("Ooh...I know, Kim! He's a bad man! We'll show Alec a thing or two!!!"....Hey! Spare the rod and spoil the starlett has always been MY motto, boy!...I ain't no dummy, ya know...but lord knows I'D never marry the idiot woman!)

Yep! Just like a good Single Malt Scotch, you might call me "an acquired taste" TOO.(among the many OTHER things you may care to call me, of course)