A bit boring but need to get it off my chest......
After having a big op for Oesophagul cancer in Oct 05 and had to have another emergency one 5 days later. They didn't bother sewing me up as I wasn't expected to live having two big ops that close together. I knew that with my particular cancer they can only do the op once and if I got it in my stomach or throat then more surgery was not an option.
I had to have another on Jan 25 this year to repair a huge hernia - a legacy from the cancer op and me clumsily moving my BA in the garage. They had to open up the whole of the scar length again to do the hernia and to remove the scar tissue from before so they could have fresh flesh to sew me back up.
The good thing (?) about it was that they were able to check out the original surgery first hand rather than with a camera etc.
I had a call last week from the Consultants office asking me to go to his surgical clinic at the local hospital last Monday.
When I got there the place was almost deserted and they ushered me through straight away. I found myself sitting alone outside his office when I would normally have to wait in a line for at least half an hour.
The Consultant came down the corridor, saw me and said said "you're looking remarkably well ! you had the operation right?". I said yes and he asked if I had come alone - a question he had asked me at our original meeting. I said yes. He said he'd see me shortly. He disappeared into his office with my notes. I was wondering why he asked me that but couldn't make the connection.
The nurse then called me in to an examination room. A few minutes later the Consultant came out of his office and said to the nurse "I don't need to examine him, I only need to speak to him so I'll see him in my office".
Now that was the office where, in June 05 they told me I had the big C. It was the office where, in Feb 06 they told me my wife had got cancer of the liver 7 days before she died.
I felt a bit sick as I went through and sat down. He asked me how I was feeling. I told him it was a bit sore etc etc. but was finding it hard to concentrate on what he was saying thinking 'get on with it' as I braced myself for the news.
He put his pen down, leaned back in his chair, clasped his hands in a prayer like manner and, after a long pause looking me straight in the eye he said "when I first diagnosed you I didn't give you a chance. Never thought you'd make Christmas. You've done well to get this far. Now I have to tell you we have done everything we can for you, there is nothing more we can do, nothing more we will do, nothing more we want to do and nothing more we would do even if we wanted to".
I was stunned. I felt a bit light headed and said "what does that mean ?" he said "about six months". My stomach churned and I felt fainter. "six months?" I said. "yes, I'll see you in six months unless you have any problems then contact us immediately" he said.
"What's the point?" I said " if there is nothing more you can do". He looked puzzled. "There nothing more we can do or want to do because there's nothing wrong with you !" he said. "I'll see you in 6 months and if everything is ok again then, we'll drop back to annual check ups". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He signed me off to ride from tomorrow !
Just goes to show how powerful the mind is and how open to suggestion we can be.
So my Baby gets a good scrub in the morning and we're back on the road !
